#this comes from the deepest of my soul please read

[atrixfromice]

I miss french....

Sorry I’ve had not much time to artwork lately due my work, but here I have emotional but wholesome poetry! Oh well sort of at least I’m trying I’m better at illustration work than poetry ok! *blush* I just know that his came from the depths of my lonely and tortured soul and  I’ve spent 2 hours crying after writting it, so please go and read it! XD

They think that due not being from there,I have no right to

People arround me, don't understand why I do it

But I do 

I miss french

the way one misses an unrequited love

A family member who passed away

Or a friend you cherished

but later you realized

that he was a mean person

I miss french

The way I miss sunsets by the beach

playing with my siblings 

when we were kids

the way I miss my childhood that is now gone

and the dreams I had at those old times

about being hired by dreamworks

akama studios or disney

or one day working with Miyazaki and Takahata

I miss french

the way I miss my first love

And my first intimate time

that I gifted to my exboyfriend

and for which he didn’t give a dime

The same way I miss my innocence

my self-steem my self-confidence

 that he took away with his violence

I miss french

The same way I miss the glory days

of my adolescence

when my parents loved me for who I was

And we all though 

that I had a great future as an illustrator

And animator

And they din’t called me a looser

I miss french

Like something who was taken away from me

since long time ago

Something I cherished so

Deep in my heart

and I know it will never come back

Because it was never there for a start

...But in my heart it always was!

[acid-ixx]

to you, my greatest passion (soft yandere! batfam x traumatized! reader oneshot)

reblogs and interactions are encouraged and appreciated.

tw: allusions to stockholm syndrome, flawed relationship (they have no concept of boundaries) and mild descriptions of injuries and torture (not by the batfam). read until the end for an author's note. happy 4k followers to me :)) uh leave comments if u like this type of analysis and want to see more. i had no direction for writing this. please don't let this flop huhu i might delete this since i don't like it

as much as i love my angst, we all need something soft at times, and moments with yan!batfam with a reader who is absolutely fucking broken from their past that the mere implication that someone could love them is enough to let them melt into whoever's chest they lay upon that night.

just, hurt/comfort. one that heals the soul in its overly possessive embrace. the same way chapped lips peck softly on your cheeks, muscled arms caress your fragile, shivering body, and legs tangle upon yours in a cacophony of warm, cozy blankets.

where as the longer time passes in the manor, the more you learn to love. to let go of the painful memories your tormenters left you. to allow past scars to heal into a mere visage of what once was streaks coated in blood. your family acts as your new abductors, yes, but how could you hold your freedom against them when it is them that comfort you from drowning through the deepest depths of your nightmares?

nightmares of the past, of the knives that break through your already gashed skin, or the ropes that burn through bruises and laceration— every time you wake up crying, with tears running down your cheeks and a pained cry; a recollection of the torture you were subject to, it is them that come running to your room not a moment after.

it's bruce's tall, domineering form that crumbles into soft, snug pillows for you. your father arms that punches criminals into prison become the shoulder you lean on. calloused fingers rub your cheeks, wiping away your tears, holding your face in his palms like you're the most fragile thing on earth— and you are. every time he looks at your dampened eyes and sniffling nose, he gets reminded of how lonely he was as a child, who lost his parent too young to the cruelty of the world, of gotham and her unyielding coldness. and when he reminisces, he begins to cage you in his arms a tad bit tighter, begins to comfort you longer and softer than he has ever done with anyone else, as if he is reassuring himself. it is with you that his vulnerability, that fear of loss becomes all too stronger. and every time you cry a bit longer, your hold on his sleeves becoming unyielding, does bruce become crueler in his pursuit of fighting crime, a lesson to himself that the people he punishes are those with hands capable enough to harm you, his precious, his pearl that glints throughout the moonlight.

whenever your father is unavailable, it's dick who runs to you, with all the intention to provide you comfort. it's him who calls you his baby bird, as he reassures you that you're no burden in his eyes every time you scream in terror as your sleep. it's him who loves to drown you in his affection, always near, always close, never far and never too much. physically, he's the most doting to a fault. tender, yet tight were his hugs. his kisses to your cheeks and your forehead always linger, as if hesitant to release itself from its rightful place. it's a testiment to how much he loves you, how he's incapable of separating himself from you. god, he loves you so much he wishes he'd just melt right into your skin, so that you actually finally realize how you're the most important thing in the world to him. you, his baby bird. if he had met you sooner, quite earlier, right after his parent's have died, then maybe he could've managed his anger better, could've learned to cope with you through the battles you both fought. it's with you that dick feel unbearably euphoric, ready to spill his love to the point where tears consume his eyes and his head laid on your chest refuses to detach itself.

jason isn't familiar with what warmth feels like, not anymore. but when he sees your hapless state, he sees a reflection of himself in that abandoned warehouse. broken, defiled, hurt. with nothing to comfort you from the cold other than the ropes that burn through your skin and the adrenaline that runs through your veins. he forgots what solace feels like, what it means, but through your shared trauma does jason learn. he learns to talk to you, with you, learns to pinpoint each and every emotion he felt at the time, what you felt inside that putrid basement. he learns to manage his grief because he doesn't want to anger himself looking at you, at just how much justice can only serve so many. the longer you talk to jason, the more he becomes softer, yet hungrier. he learns how to hold you in a way a brother learns to hold his baby sibling for the first time when conceived. he relearns the warmth he felt, like when he was finally able to be good enough to be the successor to the title of robin, when he felt you drool on his chest when you trusted him enough to sleep in his room. yet this time that feeling was accompanied with that ominous, distracting essence. one that makes jason's knuckles crack and have him prepare his guns, as he discovers that you can never truly erase the past. and even though it might take years for him to be your ideal brother, he could at least be your sole protector.

then there's tim, who never truly had the opportunity to develop that deeper sense of love he wanted to feel until he was officially adopted into the wayne family right after his parents' death. don't get him wrong, he loves his mom and dad, and so does he loves his current family— but it's obsession that drives him nonetheless. the need to prove himself, to gather information about everyone to know who they truly are; beyond that there's nothing more than shallowness, a neverending hole he can't satisfy. but with you? oh god, you. to tim, you're his everything. you devour his being whole. with you, there's always something new. the need to track every single thing about you leads him into this cycle of want and need that coagulates into desire, into drive. every time you smile, or laugh, or frown, he gains newer intel about you, one he loops into the deepest crevices of his brain at a constant, you are his constant. but staying right behind you can only do so much. and as he sits right beside you in bed, awkwardly comforting you through the ways he mirrored off from his brothers: a sloppy kiss to your knuckles, a joke cracked here and there, and wiping your eyes and nose with his sleeves; tim learns that stalking can only do so much. he learns what it feels like to be needed for emotional connection and nothing else and that only further motivates him to be perfect for you, and to be with you, his sibling, more often than to simply live right under your nose.

and damian, your baby brother, who's unsurprisingly the one who sleeps in your room, or has you sleep in his room, the most. damian tells himself he's incapable of love, of showing it or reciprocating it. but for you, he tries, and like jason, he learns. he discovers just how depraved both of you are when it comes to love. it enlightens you both and it makes damian feel a deeper sense of connection with you than anyone else. with you, he feels like a child: vulnerable, yet uncaring and free, like the true meaning of being a robin, one the soars through the skies with no grandfather or mother or league to watch your every step as their successor. all the times you cry, he silently sobs with you, holding your cheeks down to his level with scarred palms. silent, yet comforting, he'd allow his smaller form to simply become your teddy bear whilst he whispers consolations. about how strong his older sibling is, how precious you are for being comfortable with him to speak of your problems, how you're everything to damian just as he wishes to be the world for you. it makes you think you're more immature that him, it makes him grateful that he has you. even though he doesn't say it, he shows through actions just how truly important you are whenever he draws a sword towards his enemies, thinking about you and his unsaid promises.

nights where you're reminded of that solitary confinement, of the darkness that creeps into your vision and the voices that pierce through your ears. nights where you feel you've exhausted yourself of hope, where what was once warmth that hugs your heart is now that frigid, yet burning spikes that penetrates into the confidence that you'll somehow, someday, run away from that hellhole— those were nights you thought you'd never live with proper sleep. but as one or two of them holds you in their embrace whenever your nightmares consume your being, you're slowly allowing your established walls to fall apart, all for the mere implication of their love.

who would save you, if not for them? their hushed whispers of consolation, hands that wrap around your figure, and fingers that knead your cheeks provide you that deep sated comfort you always wanted. the sleeves they use to wipe away both saltine liquid and snot, to slowly silence your blubbering rambles, your inconsolable crying; it's warmer than the basement you used to be locked in as a child, with dripping faucets the only source of your water— they saved you once before, who's to say they won't save you a thousand times more?

every time you feel like crying, every time that familiar faulty tap in your eyes begins to dampen against ashen skin, it's them that asks you if you're alright. even if you grit your teeth, even if you seeth or bite or beat or punch or kick, to punish yourself, to cope through the trauma, to not feel nothing.

every time pain begins to sear through your skin, it's your grandfather, father, brothers and sisters that huddle around you and tell you 'you're safe here, in the manor, with us'.

every time they spend hours, ditching patrol nights, cooking your comfort food, reading your favorite books, watching movies for hours, ignoring your assigned sleep schedule, kissing your scarred hands gently, reverently, cuddling your form against their strong ones as a silent promise that with them, there's nothing to harm you no more— you'd feel lighter every time, a tad happier, even. slowly, but surely, melting against the confines of your adorned cage and the embrace of your loving captors.

every time they help you heal, it makes you forgive, and it makes you forget their prior kidnapping in return of building new memories with them, in a safer haven, with nobody to hurt you any longer, with nobody to bash your head against concrete walls, to punish you. you who is underserving of the circumstances bought upon you back then.

safe, a word you thought you'll never feel, a word you didn't even know existed in the crevices of your heart. but it is with them that you slowly start to associate safe with family.

the family that you've come to love and cherish in your own imperfect ways, the same way a stray dog becomes too loyal to a passerby when given bones for leftovers every day.

but you're not an animal, and you're not a pavlovian dog meant to be conditioned. no, you're their baby, their love, their treasure and their only one. the love they feed you exceeds beyond leftovers. only you can devour them wholly, the same way they cloak your world in the love that fills that neverending pit in your heart.

you're not biologically related to any of them in any way, too. yet it was all a matter of coincidence that they stumbled upon you.

but really, past is past.

then is then.

now it's just you and them.

it's you, with them.

just your family. overbearing, overprotective, overpowering.

but nothing is always over to you. their love isn't too much. how could you tell yourself it's too much? not when you were never given a basis of what is too much. how is one too much when you were never even given enough?

trust is built upon a foundation of connecting with others who can relate with you one way or another, who can see past through your flaws and mistakes— it's a bond that precedes mere acquaintanceship.

you might've met them later than everyone else, but it's you that completes them.

you're the puzzle that completes the family photographs, the goal for bruce to continue his legacy as batman and to ward off all evil, the inspiration for dick to be that aspiring hero everyone sees him to be, the reason jason begins to reform himself for your sake, the purpose for tim's endless pursuit of knowledge, the muse for damian's painting, the subject for his love he thought was no more, the ambition for steph's prolongation despite her countless of failures, the motivation for barbara to seek out all the criminals who have harmed you, the influence for cass to be stronger to protect you, the catalyst for duke to use his metahuman abilities for good, to take out those who walk in broad daylight, as if they weren't involved in your past tortures.

you're everything that they are.

their sunshine and moonlight, their companionship and loneliness, their pain and pleasure, their yin and yan.

their greatest passion.

a/n: hii guys erm. this is so sudden and also counts as a rant but yk... i feel like quitting this blog but at the same time not. it's just, i feel like writing has been more of an obligation than anything else. it doesn't help the fact that i've only been getting interaction if i were to actually produce something good. beyond that, it feels like people are expecting more of me. i get it, updates are sporadic, they appear in the blink of an eye when you least expect it, but at the same time it's just hard juggling what i want to write and what i feel like i need to write. this blog was primarily to post about my thoughts and to talk to people but lately, every time i open this app to write, i feel these plethora of thoughts and expectations telling me that if i don't do well enough then people would merely ignore whatever i post or it's just bad by standards. and yes i'm grateful for all the people supporting my writing, but at the same time i'm lead to a cycle of me losing my motivation to continue writing. ugh idk what im doing anymore help :((

tl;dr: will i stop writing? no, but at the same time i don't know. someday, i may deactivate this account out of impulse if i feel too much, or not. it depends hehe.

[utahimeow]

even death will not do us part — satoru gojo

summary — your wedding day with satoru gojo is not exactly conventional.

pairing — satoru gojo x f!reader

warnings — slightly suggestive beginning, pure fluff, established relationship

word count — 3.9k

author’s note — for satoru’s birthday ♡ i put my heart and soul and blood and sweat and tears into this and i hope u can tell. it may be the best writing i’ve ever done, so if u read it, thank u and i love u. also it’s like extremely sappy so pls keep that in mind lol

After a seemingly endless night, tendrils of golden sunlight come crawling through the blinds. They dance over your flesh that’s dotted with soft bites from your lover, and warm it like soft kisses until your eyes peel open.

Satoru’s already awake, ocean eyes gazing at you. A wave of memories of how he touched you so ardently the night before comes washing over you. After it, a wave of heat, his lustful poetry echoing in your mind until it pools between your thighs. Finally, the heat subsides into something warm, a gentle glow which settles within your ribs.

“Good morning,” your lover rasps, voice heavy with sleep. 

You reach out to him until your hand finds his face, your fingers grazing over soft pink skin, your thumb tracing the ridge of his cheekbone. He’s slightly puffy, eyes still ever so slightly droopy, but slumber is not the only thing that simmers in them.

“Good morning,” you reply, your words hoarse yet covered in honey.

For a while, neither one of you says anything, instead basking in one another. Satoru drinks in the sight of you laying next to him, gulps and gulps and gulps it down like it’s red wine, until he’s drunk. 

“Marry me,” he says. Time stops moving and your heart stops beating momentarily. Your mouth tries to move, tries to give a response, but every word you’ve ever learned suddenly abandons your memory. 

He laughs, so obnoxiously beautiful, but within his eyes that carry a millennium of history there is only pure sincerity.

It shouldn’t surprise you this much—his question—not when Satoru had long since carved a space inside your heart, and you in his. You’d been together so long that sometimes you both forgot you weren’t married, and Satoru had a habit of casually stating things like “when I make you my wife”, because it was undisputed that he would marry you.

Still, somehow you didn’t see it coming, and not like this. Satoru Gojo was a man of grandeur–always dramatic, always making a scene, always showing off in some shape or form, whether it was you or his cursed technique. The last place you would expect him to propose was in bed at ten a.m. after a night where he made you see God himself. Although, the more you think about it, this is where he is home. Where he bears the deepest parts of his being to you and where he may shed the weight of a society that idolises him as a god. Where he can ask you to marry him as just Satoru.

“Don’t go shy on me,” he says, still amused by your disbelief. 

“I-yes. Yes, I’ll marry you,” you say, sobbing out a laugh, launching yourself into his embrace and burying your face into his bare chest. 

“What if we did it today?” he asks, his voice reverberating through you until it almost puts you back to sleep.

“Did what?” you ask.

“Got married.”

Your head shoots up, your eyes flitting rapidly over each of his nonchalant features. Once more, you don’t find a single hint that he’s kidding. “You’re insane.”

“You love me for it,” he says, his face like a mischievous cat’s. “And I can’t spend another minute without you being my wife, so please, elope with me.”

Unlike Satoru, you were never exactly one for grand gestures. He knew you never had dreams of a big fairytale wedding with hundreds of guests or a giant hall, and it’s precisely one of the reasons why he’s asking this of you.

“The higher-ups are going to be pissed,” you say, leaning in close to his face until there’s hardly a hair’s width between your noses. 

“That’s the point,” he tells you. “Is that another yes, then?”

You stare into the depths of his irises, the ones that are swimming with adoration, the ones that have never changed how they stare at you, even after all these years. Not that you had any doubts before, but suddenly you’ve never wanted anything more. The feeling settles into your bloodstream, to your bones, to the very core of your being–certainty.

“Yes, Satoru, I’ll elope with you,” you say, and then your lips are on his. There’s a million words in the way he kisses you, ones that he would never be able to speak even if he tried, so he kisses you and kisses you in hopes that you’ll understand them. He kisses you like it’s the only thing keeping him alive. It is.

You part, sorrowfully, heads spinning, but then you remember you have things to do. 

“I need to start getting ready,” you say, and you already know exactly what his response will be–a groan, a whine, and him begging you to stay in his arms for a little while longer. 

He does just that. 

“Satoruuu,” you say, mimicking the way he whines your name. “The sooner I get ready the sooner we’ll be married. Isn’t that what you want?”

He pouts for the sake of pouting, then his arms loosen around your waist and you leave him with a peck upon his lips before tossing yourself out of bed. 

You spend the next hour and something at your vanity, having never imagined that your wedding day would leave you doing your own hair and makeup.

After Satoru brings you a cup of coffee and plants a chaste kiss to your temple, he heads to the bathroom to shower, leaving you to finish getting yourself ready. When he returns twenty minutes later, he finds you standing in your walk-in closet in only your bra and underwear, looking terribly focused. You don’t need to be a mind-reader to know he wants to tell you to go as you are—he refrains, however. It’s a miracle that he’s able to.

“You should wear that white dress you have. The one with the sleeves,” he suggests, flapping his arms and immediately you know which one he’s talking about. A plain white minidress with flared mesh sleeves and sweetheart neckline that you wore to a fancy dinner once. You fish it out, and Satoru approaches you as you step into it and pull it up your hips. Wordlessly, he zips the back up, holding his breath as he does. 

“I don’t think you’re supposed to see me yet,” you quip, giggling when you turn to face him. 

“Baby, there’s nothing conventional about how we’re getting married,” he grins, giving your ass a tap as you walk past him to pick out your jewellery. 

Of course, he insists on putting your necklace on for you too, a dainty Tiffany chain with a diamond sun pendant that he gifted you for your birthday years back because he liked to call you his sun. Again, the feather-light brush of his fingers over your skin sends bolts of lightning shooting to your fingertips. It’s reminiscent of the way he made you feel a decade ago, before he had even kissed you for the first time, when his cheesy, cat-like smile would send your heart racing and heat rushing to your face. When butterflies would erupt in your belly and you felt like you were floating. For some reason you found it hard to believe that feelings like that would persist, but it is in Satoru’s blood to prove you wrong, and he did, and he does still.

You decide on a pair of glimmering white Jimmy Choo heels, but before you can even think to put them on, Satoru is on his knees, softly grasping each leg of yours so he can slip the shoes on and carefully tighten the straps one by one. It’s something that never fails to make you giddy–to make you question if you’re even worthy of this man (you know you are, after all he’d spent the last few years doing everything in his power to prove to you that he’s the lucky one between you). Still, you think it’s perfectly valid to wonder what you’ve done to deserve someone like this.

Satoru stands then, a perpetual smile upon his glossy pink lips. He’s in a pair of pressed black slacks that hug his thick, toned legs, and a crisp white shirt with the sleeves rolled up and the top buttons left open (because you always tell him you like how good he looks) and nothing to cover his eyes. You’re the only person he’ll be looking at today, after all. He’d die before letting anything obscure his view of you.

He takes your hand and raises it into the air and twirls you around, his eyes drinking in every detail of you, inhaling your sweet, angelic scent, and now it’s his turn to wonder how he managed to get so lucky, as if it doesn’t occupy his mind from the very second he wakes up to the moment he falls asleep. 

He’s still unlearning the idea that he’s alone because it was all that he ever knew from the day that he was born. He’s always had friends and caretakers and people who admired him and who depended on him and who worshipped him, but he was always there at the top, the closest thing to a god that a human could be—by himself. No one could possibly understand him enough to be by his side, not really. Then one day you came along and you slithered your way into the cracks and crevices of his very being and refused to budge, and you showed him that he’s not alone, that there are people who he can trust and depend on and people who he can love. 

He never lets go of your hand, pulling you close to his chest and grinning down at you. His eyes gleam with a mischief that’s all too familiar, one that’s got you instantly suspicious.

“Please don’t hate me,” he says but it’s without any real concern. 

You have an inkling as to what he’s planning, but you don’t even get the chance to open your mouth to question him because one moment you’re standing in the foyer of your home and the next you’re outside of the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building. 

He predicts the way you smack his chest and whine out a mildly irritated “Satoru!”–it only makes him grin harder, because he knows how much you hate when he teleports you without warning, but right now he just can’t wait another moment (and neither can you) so you don’t have it in you to be genuinely displeased.

As he makes his way to the entrance, you tug on his arm suddenly to stop him after a certain realisation hits you. 

“Satoru, don’t we need a witness?” you ask. 

His eyes narrow in thought and he looks around, cartoon-like, before his face fills with resolution and he’s strolling away from the building with you in tow. 

“Excuse me,” he exclaims, and you follow his gaze to where an older couple are walking by, hands intertwined. They turn to him inquisitively, so he continues. “My gorgeous fiancée here and I are about to be wed. All of our friends were too busy today, so we don’t have any witnesses. Would you spare a moment of time for a young, smitten couple?”

You roll your eyes, but the grin smirk your lips betrays you. “We’re sincerely sorry for interrupting your day. What my insufferable fiancé here means to say is we would appreciate it greatly if you would be our witnesses.”

The couple take a glance at one another, silently communicating before they face you and Satoru once more, nodding their heads.

“It’s our day off, we were just going to walk around the city anyway,” the lady explains, her pale, weathered lips stretching into a gentle smile.

Thus, you waltz into the city hall altogether, and only now does it begin to settle in that you’re about to marry Satoru Gojo. The morning had gone by so quickly– you’d only been awake less than four hours, and during that time you never once stopped to let any of it sink in.

Now, it sinks in. All the way to your core, to the fibres and cells that make up your being. Inside your ribs your heart is swollen, filled to the brim with scarlet red until it overflows and paints everything around it, until every part of you, every seam that holds you together has been altered, touched by something that Satoru gifted you on the first day you met him.

Your lover seems to move in slow motion. Your breath is caught in your throat. It’s a dream, you’re sure of it. Then Satoru squeezes your hand, ever perceptive of your thoughts, and reminds you that it’s not. 

After gathering a pile of documents, a man in a suit takes you to a room that’s a smaller version of a court and begins to lay out the papers, simultaneously explaining each one’s purpose and indicating what you and Satoru must fill out. You provide him with your own documents–birth certificates and proof of residence, and then the two strangers who had offered themselves to you as witnesses give their signatures. 

Your officiant makes his speech in a professional language, far from the flowery words given by priests or family friends in churches or venues adorned with flowers and ribbons along every wall.

Lack of preparation means your vows are a repetition of a script written decades ago: you take Satoru to be your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

During Satoru’s turn, he hesitates. His eyes shine with a strange epiphany as he stares down at you. 

“...From this day forward, until the end of time. Even death will not do us part.”

There are no words in any language, dead or alive, that are adequate enough to describe the elation you experience. There is no concept, idea, or theory that would truly reveal the way that you are consumed by love for him. It runs through your bloodstream, intrinsic to your very being. 

The officiant announces that you and Satoru are husband and wife. Now you are one flesh and bone. He leans forward, kisses you, and it’s a promise of eternal devotion.

Outside of the city hall, where time no longer stands still but you still feel as though you are not inside of your body, your husband Satoru Gojo bows to the man and woman who made your marriage possible. 

Satoru Gojo does not bow. And while it is easy to attribute it to some god complex, to the product of his upbringing, as many do, those to whom Satoru has shown his soul know that it is rebellion. It is the denial of a convention he refuses to assimilate with, one he does not believe in, one which begs children to be grateful to those who have sown them as though they had the choice to be sown.

When Satoru Gojo does bow, it is not without good reason. Most often it is only when he owes someone his life—so he bows to the two strangers, whose signatures on a piece of paper mean that he is eternally yours.

Beside him, you bow too.

“Thank you,” Satoru says, then both of you straighten up to find the couple smiling before you. There is kindness etched into every line on their face, a fondness simmering in their eyes. Their arms are linked, and all of a sudden you’re looking in a mirror.

“Congratulations on your marriage,” the woman says. “I’m certain you will flourish together.”

“You know, young people are always getting into relationships, but seeing true love like what you have with one another… It’s a rare thing nowadays. Please cherish that,” the man says.

“We’ll be forever grateful for you,” you say. “Thank you.”

The four of you part, but the couple, whose names you do not know, now lives in a part of your mind that can never be erased.

The first thing Satoru does as your husband, as you walk down the streets of Tokyo with your hands laced together, is suddenly disappear into a flower shop as you pass by it, before emerging once more and handing you a bouquet of crimson carnations and white roses with a cheshire cat smile on his face.

“Your wedding bouquet,” he says.

“Oh, Satoru, they’re beautiful,” you muse, allowing your nose to absorb their earthy scent. “Thank you.”

You tug him by the hand that’s woven with yours, pulling him down to plant a kiss upon his cheek.

The next stop is a jewellery store, and you yelp as Satoru pulls you inside with him this time. 

“Pick whatever ring you like, baby,” he tells you as you stand before the glass case where thousands of crystals glimmer back at you, splayed out on a bed of white. “Just to wear until you pick your actual one.”

Blood warms your face. It’s not meant to be a brag. Even if he didn’t have generations of wealth in his bank account, he’d buy you as many rings as you wanted until you found the perfect one. For you, he would find a way.

Your eyes wander over every diamond, over gold and silver and platinum, and it’s not long at all before they all start to look the same. Not wanting to spend your entire wedding day inside a jewellery store, you land on a simple diamond-studded silver band and point it out to Satoru.

“That one?” he asks. 

You nod, a satisfied smile making your lips curl.

Satoru flags down the jeweller, a thin woman with shiny skin, requesting the ring you want. She tells him each of the five diamonds weighs 0.2 carats, making the ring a total of one carat, as if it’ll make a difference to either of you. He doesn’t ask her for the price, but she tells him it’s 550,000 yen—practically theft for someone from the Gojo clan. 

After picking out a matching plain silver band for himself, you and Satoru leave the store and continue strolling through the city. To everyone else, you look like no more than an enamoured couple like the millions of others in Tokyo, and while a part of Satoru feels like he wants to wander up to random strangers to brag to them that you’re his wife, another part cherishes this little secret between you two.

From the day he was born, Satoru Gojo’s wedding was to be a grand affair. Sorcerers from far and wide would gather to witness the expansion of the Gojo clan. It was to be a several day-long event, planned intricately by the higher ups without room for any say from the bride and groom. Satoru did not want that—not for himself, but especially not for you.

Now he laughs as he imagines the higher ups’ faces when they realise he has not only married but eloped behind their backs. Though he thinks he’ll keep his left hand in his pocket the next few times he pays them a visit, at least for a few weeks.

“What?” you ask. His grin spreads from his face to yours.

“Nothing. Are you hungry?” 

“Ugh, yes,” you say. Suddenly your empty stomach becomes even emptier, howling agonisingly loudly.

“Sushi Go?” 

“Please.” 

The nearest one is ten minutes away. When you get there, you sit in a booth next to the conveyor belt, with Satoru insisting on shoving himself into the seat next to you rather than across from you. As soon as his heat radiates into you, however, you feel like melting into him.

After ordering almost the entire menu despite your scolding, Satoru finds the ring boxes and pulls them out of the ribbon-tied bag from the jeweller. He takes your left hand, gently, as though you’re made of glass, and slides the glittering ring onto your fourth finger. He brings it to his lips, then his velvety lips kiss just above where the ring rests.

“Beautiful,” he says. He’s looking at your eyes, not the ring.

You twist it around your finger, lungs empty as it catches every ray of light that comes its way and tosses it back at your eyes. 

“It’s a little big, but I love it.”

“I’ll get you the perfect one, don’t worry,” he says. “To make up for no engagement ring.”

“You make me sound so materialistic,” you quip, taking his hand into yours and slipping the matching silver band onto his bony finger.

“Just spoiled,” he corrects.

You narrow your eyes at him, but it turns into hearts not a moment later. He makes it impossible.

“I love you, Satoru Gojo,” you say, holding up your hands as you lace your fingers together with his.

“I love you,” he says, and the smug, cocky front vanishes, and he bares himself, his true self, to you. “More than anything in this world. I’m gonna prove it to you every single day from now on.”

Your giggle is drenched in fondness. “You already do that.”

“Then I’ll do it even better. This is a promise of that,” he says, thumb stroking over the ring he put on your finger.

His eyes don’t hold an ounce of hesitation, of questioning, of doubt. Only truth.

Your food arrives, and you wish you could say you feel bad about how overtly gross you and Satoru are being, feeding sushi rolls to each other with twinkling eyes, but everything inside you is screaming with euphoria that you can’t bring yourself to care. 

You wipe a drop of soy sauce from the corner of his lips, and he stares at you like you put the sun and the stars and the moon in the sky.

Not to your surprise, you and Satoru don’t finish all of the food he ordered. One of the waiters offers to box up the leftovers, then returns with two paper bags and hands them to your husband, whose unoccupied hand takes yours once more.

He decides he wants to take you to the park. He’s not sure why. It just feels right, and all you want is to spend time with him, so you tell him the park sounds perfect. It’s only another fifteen minute walk, anyway.

When you get there, the emerald lawns are teeming with families, couples, friends. Children run as if they can fly, dogs chase after tennis balls like it is their life mission. Satoru whisks you away from it all however, taking you into the trees.

Nestled amongst the Japanese chinquapin and zelkovas, a cherry blossom spreads its branches out like arms, its blossoms like pink fingertips that flutter as the wind swims through them. Satoru sinks into the cushion of grass at the base of the tree, leaning his broad back against the trunk. Like a cat, you find your way into his lap and rest your head upon his chest, next to his heart. The way his arms wrap around you is instinct.

Sparrows and finches flit about the branches, dancing as they move from one tree to another. Two turtle doves perch together, huddling into the other even though the air is warm.

Even if you and Satoru do not stay bound together in this life, if death takes you or him early, one thing you know for certain—you’ll find him again in another life. Right now, however, you have him in this life, and nothing else matters.

dedicated to @ushiwhacka and @tetsuskei <3 i love u both

[eth3real-ess3nce]

PICK A ♡ PILE - THREE MONTH LOVE FORECAST

Top left (1) , Top right (2) , Bottom left (3) , Bottom right (4)

Enjoy!

PILE 1

This reading is meant for you if one of more of these apply: ♡ you have been planning your Christmas holidays (2-3 months prior) ♡ you were born in March or April ♡ life path 3 6 or 8 ♡ someone close to you (or you) is named Christina ♡ summer is your favourite season ♡ you hate coffee ♡ it's your last year of high school or college ♡ you own a cat ♡ you are from Asia or dream of visiting Asia / Eastern Asia ♡ you love Starbucks ♡ you see angel number 333 ♡ you used to love Bratz or Monster high ♡ I see you regaining your confidence, how lovely! Many of you have been thinking about making changes to your appearance & you will make these thoughts come true. You will be PAMPERED by the universe. Feels good to finally spoil yourself, huh? Totally! And because of the radiance your glow up offers you, you are going to attract multiple "knights" who will want to add to it. I see material gifts, thoroughly planned dates and tokens of appreciation in your future. Many of you will be meeting new potential love interests during Christmas holidays. Please be careful of lovebombers. Now it isn't the case for everybody of course, since it's a collective reading. But if you notice that someone is making big promises early on and you feel uncomfortable with it, listen to your gut please. For many of you, there might be a third person you don't know about. And whether you know about the third person , please avoid getting entangled in such situations as it won't end well for you..I'm saying this with love Being showered with gifts and being treated like a queen is amazing , but just be aware of the hidden agendas. In cases a third person doesn't exist, they will attempt to lure you in by pretending that you are everything you ever asked for. Keep your lovely eyes open! ✨ 💗 Zodiac signs mostly present/related: Taurus, Leo, Cancer (sun, moon, rising or venus)

PILE 2

This reading is meant for you if one or more of these apply: ♡ Life path 5 or the number 5 on your birth date ♡ you are christian or muslim ♡ you wear earphones most of the time ♡ your favourite colour is a shade of blue ♡ you have sensitive stomach or food intolerances ♡ you drop things on the floor easily lately ♡ you like to draw, you use black&white filters on pictures a lot ♡ you live near a thrift shop ♡ your name ends with an "e" ♡ you have practised art before like drama or sculpting I feel that this is my heartbroken pile. I want to start by giving you a BIG warm hug and try to offer you the sweetest, most encouraging words possible today. I'm sensing some type of betrayal here whether it's literal or emotional. You tend to overgive to people close to you, even if they don't deserve it. You are tired of feeling taken advantage of. You feel that so much is owed to you and you definitely have the right to feel this way. You have been stepped over and over again. This is the time where you will be given the decision to put an end to these energies. Some of you might be still entangled in situations where they drain your soul and your light , others might have walked away but are still trying to pick up the pieces of their hearts & heal.. It seems very difficult for you, because making the decision to prioritise yourself & your needs is something brand new to you. You never thought you were supposed to put yourself first before ; to think that your physical mental, emotional wellbeing must come first. My dear pile 2, I know you are seeking a glimpse of hope in today's reading but I ought to be 100% honest with you. Dating is not what is meant for you right now. You are going through one of the deepest spiritual transformations in your life currently and I am not exaggerating. You are still learning how to perceive yourself as someone who is human with needs and desires, and NOT as a doormat for others to step conveniently on. "But is there hope for me to find love?" Yes. I see that happening later than sooner, though. When you will be coming out of your "winter" phase in your life ; with your healed scars and with confidence you never even imagined you'd possess before. The future holds endless, limitless blessings for you, pile 2. All the power & courage you're seeking is within. Zodiac signs mostly present/related: Pisces & Sagittarius (sun, moon, rising or venus)

PILE 3

This reading is meant for you if one or more of these apply: ♡ you have short hair ♡ life path 9 or have 9 on your date of birth ♡ one of your parents or siblings has aries placements ♡ you traveled inside USA in the past month ♡ you own a green jacket ♡ you are an athlete ♡ your chart is water or air dominant ♡ your name or last name starts with an "M" ♡ you have trouble sleeping lately ♡ you have neon lights in your bedroom ♡ you prefer older guys (I don't blame you) ♡ one of your favourite artists is Taylor swift, Jhene Aiko, Beyoncé ♡ you have tattoo(s) on your wrists/hands ♡ you stay home a lot lately Currently, it seems that you prefer your solitude. Many of you have given up on dating, you feel defeated in some way. You are extra picky with people (as you should) , as you can clearly see through them & make correct judgements about them often. Some of you might have been practicing abstinence, you are spiritually isolated and you are single by choice. I see you living your truth and stand firmly on your beliefs, even if it comes off harsh or weird to others. You don't care. 😉 In the next three months: Initially, you will stay this way. It's very likely that for some of you a past lover might return and even offer closure. You will have reflected a lot on past mistakes that were made & since you took time off the dating pool, you will be able to make healthy choices for yourself. And also, to say "no" to what doesn't serve you. Dear pile 3, I agree it's good to be highly selective, but I see here that many of you struggle when it comes to receiving. You might be looking at those videos where girls are getting princess treatment, flowers, etc. from their boyfriends and you deeply yearn for it. I know some of you won't even admit it 😅 But it's PERFECTLY fine to desire those things. You deserve to be properly loved & cherished. Allow this into your life when the opportunity presents itself, because I assure you it will. Something passionate is in the cards for you. You won't expect it and you won't expect with whom it will happen. You might know (or get to know) this person & not like them at first, but then sparks will begin to ignite. Mark my words. I'm sensing heavy air energy from this pile, woah. (gemini, libra, aquarius) sun moon rising venus. Because of your naturally detached nature, you don't fall in love with just anyone . This time, though , your inner child finally feels safe with someone. This is what your spirit has been asking for. A love that feels like home. Zodiac Signs mostly present/related: Pisces, Aries, Leo, Sagittarius, Libra (sun, moon, rising or venus)

PILE 4

This reading is meant for you if one or more of these apply: ♡ you braid your hair very often ♡ you're reading this while you are not in your hometown ♡ you were born in 2005,2006,1997 ♡ your father is an attorney ♡ you have leo placements ♡ you come from money ♡ you have heart(s) in your bio ♡ you have dark hair and light eyes ♡ you mostly wear boots ♡ you love Green Day ♡ your venus is in Aries ♡ you have nose ring(s) ♡ your name has two A's ♡ you ate cereal the same day you read this ♡ you have a pet with green eyes ♡ you own a necklace with a crystal/stone ♡ you're half European Hello hello! I must say, this pile is scaring me a bit. So wild! 😳 and so much secrecy... 👀 Pile 4 your love lives never cease to be boring. I can hear you thinking "why am I falling in love with the wrong people" "why do i have to make difficult choices in love". I see.... There are multiple energies coming through so bear with me as I'm going to cover them all ❤️ As I said, I sense so much secrecy here. But during the next 3 months everything will be revealed. Do you have feelings for someone you shouldn't, but you keep it to yourself? You will probably either tell them or they'll know. Someone from your friend group or class has a crush on you? You will definitely discover it. Do you have an affair behind someone's back? Baby.. it will be known. Does the person you are involved with know that you don't want something serious? It's time for them to learn... I don't seek to be strict, only honest and loving with you, so this is why I advise against being reckless, okay? With your heart and others'. One of the first messages that popped up, is **warning against unwanted pregnancies** so pretty please make sure you use protection if you don't plan on getting pregnant!!! 💗 Pile 4, in the next 3 months karma will be served, whether it's good or bad. If you worry, it's not too late to change how things are. You always have free will. It's just the overall energy that I am getting. For example, if you don't want your crush to know that you like them, then they won't. BUT, opportunities will present themselves.. just sayin'! It's your choice, always. Expect those changes to occur during the next mercury retrograde (December 13th if you're reading this before that date). I advise you to be on your best behaviour, pile 4!!! I know "forbidden love" situations & mind games are giving you adrenaline and meaning in life... but it's not the time to act up if you want to be free of consequences 😳 And for those of you who know you're doing nothing wrong, I got you. Someone is absolutely infatuated with you but something is holding them back. I have channeled a few clues for you ❤️ : "dark hair" "Scorpio" "19 (could be age or numbers at their date of birth)" "Works in retail" "Initials J or D" "has a flag/scarf of their favourite football team in their room" "met at a party" "subtle ways to have physical contact with you" "had a cringe emo phase a while ago" "has randomly bought you food before" Does it ring a bell?? Zodiac Signs mostly present/related: Aquarius, pisces, Scorpio (sun, moon, rising or venus)

[ukiyowi]

Channelled Messages II 💌

Channelling messages from your: Future Spouse's guides, your shadow self, your parents.

Note: Have fun!! And please reblog and send feedback (if you want) it helps a ton, have a lovely day everyone. Reblogging and paid readings help a lot! Pls DM me if you want one!

Masterlist! || Book a reading! || Tip 🫙!

Future Spouse's Guides

Your Shadow Self

Your Parents

- ✪✪✪ -

💌 Pile 1

My Dearest,

As the spirit guide of your future spouse, I am honored to offer you guidance and wisdom that transcends the boundaries of time and space. Though my role is to support your beloved from the spiritual realm, I am deeply invested in your happiness and well-being, for your future union is a testament to the profound love and connection you share. In this letter, I aim to provide you with advice that is both general yet specific, touching upon various aspects of life, not solely confined to matters of love.

First and foremost, let us discuss the significance of self-discovery. Throughout your life's journey, you will encounter a myriad of experiences, challenges, and joys. It is crucial to embrace these moments as opportunities for growth and self-understanding. As you become more attuned to your own needs, desires, and values, you will naturally radiate a sense of authenticity and confidence that will enrich your relationship.

Never forget the importance of compromise. In every relationship, there will be differences in opinions, preferences, and priorities. Approach these disagreements with a willingness to find common ground, and remember that sometimes, the act of yielding can be a powerful testament to your love.

Remember to nurture the small moments of joy and spontaneity. Life often unfolds in the ordinary, and it is within these seemingly simple moments that the deepest connections are forged. Cherish the laughter, the shared meals, and the quiet evenings together.

The universe is conspiring to bring you together with your beloved, and your spirit guides, myself included, watch over you with love and care. Embrace the lessons and blessings that come your way, and may your love story be a timeless testament to the power of love.

They are waiting for you, your souls are meant to meld and they will very soon, till then please take care of yourself <3.

With love 🩵

💌 Pile 2

Hello love,

Beginning with, let me assure you that your path is illuminated by the radiant light of potential and destiny. The future holds both challenges and triumphs, and it is essential to approach them with an open heart and a resilient spirit. Remember, life is a beautiful tapestry woven from both joy and sorrow, and every thread contributes to your unique and intricate story.

One of the most important pieces of advice I can offer is to embrace the ever-changing nature of existence. Life is a series of cycles, and like the seasons, it brings moments of both abundance and scarcity. In times of abundance, cherish the blessings bestowed upon you, but do not become complacent. Use your good fortune to uplift others and to grow as an individual. And in times of scarcity, hold steadfast to your inner strength, for they are the crucibles in which your character is forged.

In the pursuit of your dreams and aspirations, I urge you to cultivate patience and perseverance. Life's most significant accomplishments often require time and effort. Do not be discouraged by setbacks, for they are the stepping stones to your ultimate success. Your journey may be arduous at times, but your future spouse's spirit guide assures you that every challenge you face is an opportunity for growth. As you journey through life, you will encounter love in its many forms.

Some loves will be fleeting, like shooting stars in the night sky, while others will be enduring and steadfast like the North Star. It is important to discern between the two, for not all who enter your life are meant to stay, and not all who depart are lost.

Your relationship with yourself is the foundation upon which all other connections are built. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion, and remember that self-love is not a selfish act, but a necessary one. When you love and respect yourself, you radiate positivity, attracting love and respect from others.

Waiting for you~

💌 Pile 3

Hi sweetheart!

In the years to come, you will encounter crossroads and diverging paths. The choices you make at these junctures will shape your professional destiny. Remember, dear one, that it is not always about the most lucrative or prestigious option, but rather the one that aligns with your passions and values. Seek out work that resonates with your soul, for a fulfilling career is one that brings joy and a sense of purpose.

Let me reassure you that the path you're on is destined for greatness. While life can be a rollercoaster, remember that even the steepest drops can lead to thrilling highs. So, don't be afraid to embrace the twists and turns that come your way. They're all part of the grand adventure. Now, let's talk about your career.

Picture it like a delicious buffet (and who doesn't love a good buffet, right?). You've got a wide array of options laid out before you. Some might look tempting, while others might leave you scratching your head. My advice? Try a bit of everything! Just like at the buffet, you won't know what your absolute favorite is until you've sampled a little bit of everything.

Don't feel pressured to settle for the first dish that comes your way. Explore different career opportunities, experiment with various roles, and indulge in your passions. If you're passionate about something, even if it seems unconventional, go for it

Remember, your future is a canvas, and your career is the vibrant palette you use to paint your masterpiece. Oh, and remember to strike a balance between work and play. Life isn't all about the hustle and grind.

Take time to savor the sweet moments, laugh with friends, and cherish the love of your future spouse. They'll be your biggest cheerleader on this journey, and together, you'll conquer any challenge that comes your way.

Take care love!

- ✪✪✪ -

💌 Pile 1

I see you often doubting your abilities and second-guessing your decisions. When you're faced with challenges or new opportunities, you tend to retreat into your comfort zone to avoid the discomfort of failure or rejection.

My advice to you is this: Embrace the discomfort. Step outside of your comfort zone intentionally, even when it scares you. It's in those moments of vulnerability that you can truly learn and grow. Remember, making mistakes is not a sign of weakness; it's a sign of courage and the path to improvement.

When faced with challenges, don't shy away. Confront them head-on, for it is through adversity that you discover your true strength. Embrace your flaws and imperfections, for they are what make you uniquely you. They hold the seeds of your growth and evolution.

Do not suppress your emotions; they are your compass. Feel them deeply, both the joy and the pain. They offer valuable insights into your desires, fears, and aspirations. Learn from them and allow them to guide your decisions.

Embrace your darkness, for it holds the potential for profound transformation. It is not something to be feared, but a wellspring of untapped creativity and power.

Remember, you are a mosaic of light and shadow, embrace both.

💌 Pile 2

When you hear that inner voice saying, "I can't do it" or "I'm not good enough," that's me. My advice is to confront those thoughts head-on.

First and foremost, remember that your thoughts are not necessarily facts. They are products of your perception and past experiences. Start by analyzing the evidence for and against these self-doubts. Ask yourself, "What proof do I have that I can't do it?" You might be surprised to find that many of your fears are based on assumptions rather than concrete evidence.

Furthermore, consider reframing your self-talk. Instead of saying, "I can't," try saying, "I can, but it might be challenging," or "I can, with effort and practice." This shift in perspective can empower you to approach tasks with a growth mindset, recognizing that even failures and setbacks are opportunities for learning and improvement.

Embrace challenges as opportunities to prove me wrong. Remember that growth often occurs outside your comfort zone. Taking calculated risks, setting ambitious goals, and pushing your boundaries are all ways to demonstrate your capabilities. Each small victory, each obstacle overcome, is a testament to your potential.

Seeking support and encouragement from others is not wrong or bad. Share your aspirations and fears with trusted friends, mentors, or therapists. They can provide valuable perspectives, guidance, and motivation during your journey of self-discovery and personal growth.

Analyse your doubts, reframe your self-talk, embrace challenges, and seek support. By doing so, you can prove your shadow self wrong and unlock your full potential.

💌 Pile 3

When haunting memories of past mistakes and regrets resurface, don't let them consume you. Rather than dwelling on the pain of the past, reflect on what each experience has taught you. Every misstep and error holds within its valuable lessons. Reflect on what you've learned from these experiences, for they have shaped you into the person you are today.

Forgiveness, both of yourself and others, can be liberating. It allows you to release the emotional burdens that may be holding you back and opens the door to personal growth and healing.

Finally, those impulses and desires that occasionally surge within you are not to be ignored or suppressed. Instead, explore their origins and motivations. Sometimes, these desires reveal untapped passions and dreams that are yearning for your attention. By embracing and understanding them, you can find ways to channel them positively, enriching your life in unexpected ways.

I am here to challenge you to become a more authentic and whole version of yourself. They are not reckless impulses but signposts pointing to unfulfilled potential.

By acknowledging and channeling these desires constructively, you can embark on a transformative journey toward a more fulfilling and authentic life.

- ✪✪✪ -

💌 Pile 1

You've been positively shining lately, and we couldn't be prouder.

It's like watching a shooting star streak across the sky – you're constantly surprising us with your brilliance and leaving us in awe. From acing your exams to that recent project you tackled with gusto, you're proving to the world that you're a force to be reckoned with.

But you know what we love even more than your accomplishments? It's your zest for life and the twinkle in your eye as you chase your dreams. Remember, life is not just about reaching destinations; it's about enjoying every twist and turn of the journey.

So, keep reaching for the stars, our little superstar! We have no doubt that you'll continue to amaze us and everyone around you. Just promise us one thing – never lose that playful spirit and infectious enthusiasm that makes you who you are.

We love you more than words can express, and we can't wait to see where your next adventure takes you. Congratulations, and keep on. You're not just making us proud; you're making the whole family proud!

💌 Pile 2

We hope this letter finds you well and wrapped in the warmth of our love, even if from afar. There are words we've been carrying in our hearts, words that need to find their way to you.

We want to tell you how very sorry we are for any moments of pain, frustration, or disappointment we may have caused you in the course of your life. As parents, we've made mistakes, stumbled along the way, and at times, failed to truly understand your perspective.

We want you to know that our love for you is immeasurable, and it is in the shadow of that love that we can identify and acknowledge our shortcomings. We recognize that there were moments when we should have listened more, when we should have supported your dreams more enthusiastically, and when we should have been a more constant presence in your life.

Please understand that our actions were never intended to cause you harm. We were navigating the complexities of parenthood the best we knew how, often learning as we went along. Sometimes, our fears and insecurities clouded our judgment, and for that, we are deeply sorry.

Our love for you, though, has always been unwavering, a beacon of hope and pride. Watching you grow, accomplish, and become the remarkable person you are today fills us with indescribable joy. Your kindness, intelligence, and strength are a testament to your character, and we couldn't be prouder.

We hope you can find it in your heart to forgive us for any past missteps. Our wish is that we can move forward with a renewed sense of understanding, compassion, and love between us.

We're here to support you in all your endeavors, to listen when you need an ear, and to be the parents you truly deserve. With a love that will never die,

🩷

💌 Pile 3

You are a cherished part of our lives, and nothing will ever change that. We wanted to share some feelings with you because we believe in open and honest communication. Recently, there have been moments when we felt a slight sense of disappointment in some of your choices and actions.

Please understand that this disappointment does not diminish our love for you, nor does it define our overall view of you as a person. We apologize for feeling this way, as we recognize that no one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. Our expectations might have been too high, and we realize that it's important for us to accept you as you are, with your unique strengths and flaws.

Our intention in sharing this is not to make you feel guilty or burdened but to foster understanding and growth within our family. We believe that through open conversations and support, we can work through these feelings together. We hope that you can forgive us for any undue pressure we may have unintentionally placed on you.

Remember, our love for you is boundless and unconditional, and we are here to help and support you as you navigate life's challenges. Let's move forward together, learning from our experiences, and growing as individuals and as a family.

- ✪✪✪ -

[amourdivine]

୨ ♡ ୧ WHAT KIND OF PERSON ARE THEY?   ઉ   PAC

Hello, angels! I hope you're well. I'm bringing in another nosy type of reading. We'll look into who this person really is and if any advice comes up. If you liked this reading, please consider tipping me at @ amourdivinetarot@gmail.com via paypal! xo ♡

›    none of the images are mine unless stated otherwise. ›    personal readings are closed as of march 2024 ›    navigation ♡ masterlist ♡ payhip (extended readings)

HOW TO CHOOSE YOUR PILE.  take a few deep breaths and look at each picture separately. see which one brings you to a feeling, a place or a memory. take your time and feel free to come back to it later!

amourdivine 2021 - 2024 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content!

୨୧ PILE ONE

who is this person, deep down? two of cups ✧ the hermit ✧ judgement

This is someone who values meaningful, deep, soulful relationships. They do not crave the buzz of parties or endless chatting with strangers. They don't like small talk. Others may describe this person as an old soul, someone introspective and wise. Their friends turn to them for honest and sensible advice; they may be an older sibling, or someone who's seen as a role model in some type of way.

Unfortunately, this wisdom came at a cost. They have endured a thousand inner deaths in life. This person had to start over many, many times, but they always got back up. As strong as they are also loyal, they're mature and still believe in the magic of being surrounded by good people. Strong Virgo and Scorpio energy, given the cards you got.

It's likely they came from poverty or are enduring a financial loss at this moment in time. Since this person is hardworking and independent, I don't think you have anything to worry about - sadly or not, they're more than used to the weight of their shoulders.

Although they're not expressive with their emotions or thoughts, you can count on this person to be sincere. They seem heavily protected by something greater, something bigger. For most of you, this person is spiritual, but not religious. They're very private and you may have a hard time understanding them or figuring them out.

channeled words & songs: black and white, heavy as led, test of time, a drop of water, night of the soul, life path 7, seek solitude, "i'm always okay", read my mind by the killers, runaway horses, small towns.

quotes that remind me of this person

Tell me, Atlas. What is heavier: The world or its people's hearts? — Darshana Suresh.

I am a forest, and a night of dark trees: but he who is not afraid of my darkness, will find banks full of roses under my cypresses. — Friedrich Nietzsche.

Everywhere I go I find a poet has been there before me. — Sigmund Freud.

୨୧ PILE TWO

who is this person, deep down? five of swords ✧ the world ✧ the moon

Accomplished, but lonely. It's how this person feels as I shuffled. They have seen and known so much, but it came at the cost of their morals. This person holds many secrets - even from themselves. Nothing dark, but they do regret their ways at times. With how competitive and aggressive they can be, it's difficult for them to hold onto anything but their success.

They may be famous or well-known in some way. Renowned. A lawyer, a judge. Someone with a fair share of experience and authority in a certain field. But my God, how their words can hurt. Have you ever heard that the pen is mightier than the sword? Yeah, that's this person.

Even when they bask in the glory of being so accomplished, no one really knows this person. Not even themselves, as I said. They're scared of vulnerability, emotions and intimacy. They're scared of the things the Moon tries to show them: their deepest fears, the nightmares and past traumas they've tried to bury deep down.

Interestingly, despite the cards, I get heavy Aries energy. This person may be an Aries Moon, quite a complex placement to have. They're good at being logical and practical, good at the doing, at the speaking, but they don't have the time for people, for emotions... for friendship or family. Given their history, it's likely they shut themselves off from connections out of fear.

I don't think they're happy. They look happy, they look so beautiful, so otherworldly, but inside of them there's this urge for something else. Something more meaningful.

channeled words & songs: ambitchous, aries, sagittarius, "i want it i got it", "let my money talk", chest pains, life path 8 or 9, neon pink, overprotective, oh no! by marina, terrible love by the national, bank account.

quotes that remind me of this person

I live to succeed, not to please you or anyone else. — Marilyn Monroe.

My worst fear - that's anyone's worst fear - is to lose myself and become an empty person. And that happens a lot when you're very ambitious. — Marina Diamandis.

୨୧ PILE THREE

who is this person, deep down? two of pentacles ✧ the sun ✧ four of pentacles

What an interesting contradiction, it seems. The person on your mind is generous, extroverted and.. quite the busy bee. Their outer persona remind me of J-Hope from BTS, very caring and extroverted - someone who's got an infectious laugh, but despite his bubbly appearance, he's actually very caring and protective.

Although they may seen foolish, this person is anything but. They're quite careful and at times, intense. However, I don't think many people get to see this more serious and protective side of them. They seem guarded for the right reasons, because they know their heart is quite precious and too much of a good thing to be given away so easily.

It's possible they come off as brain-scattered or high maintenance to you, but they're genuine and one of their main purposes in life - whether they know it or not - is to bring joy to others. They're so good at it. It's not a party without this person, with or without alcohol, they know how to lighten up the mood and are an amazing team player.

It feels cheeky too. I think they like the dad jokes, the lighthearted atmosphere, but they know when to be serious. If I am to be honest, this person is an amazing partner (in case you're asking about a romantic interest) and an even more amazing friend. Someone who'll cheer you up and stick by your side through thick and thin. A very dear friend.

channeled words & songs: heart-shaped, light up a joint, weed, recreational drugs, easy breezy, life of the party by shawn mendes, 9 to 5, bisexual, lgbt+, rainbow, friend-shaped, dogs, cats, energetic, rap.

quotes that remind me of this person

The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.— Bob Marley.

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. — Robin Williams.

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always. — Unknown.

୨୧ PILE FOUR

who is this person, deep down? ace of cups ✧ ten of swords ✧ seven of cups ✧ the lovers

I feel like whoever you're asking about is in a brand new mode. They seem to be someone who was previously overburdened by their past. This person is in a major transformative phase, both physically and internally. They have endured so much, it's heartbreaking just thinking about it. I don't think they're very open about it though, at least, they weren't before.

Honestly, this person may have suffered from addiction, major losses or betrayal. They're getting back up after a period of darkness. Spirit's referencing their current phase more so than they actually are, because I believe they haven't yet fully come to really be who they are. They're shedding the person they had become, in order to be who they were meant to be.

They seek a new beginning, new friendships, good, better choices. It seems this path they're on has just begun, so they're a bit.. amazed at the options being offered. Still, this person wants to choose well for themselves and the people they love. They've regained a great love for the world. I feel filled with wonder, with enthusiasm for what's to come. Like anything and everything is possible.

Although they may seem immature, they've seen a lot. They've had to fight to survive through their worst and now, they're learning to let joy and love in. They've come to realize their power, the magic in who they are and learning to accept that this too shall pass. However, this person feels peaceful yet determined, broken yet healing, quite balanced in their aspects. A thinker and a feeler.

channeled words & songs: ego, healing, therapy, six of cups, innocence, yet to come by bts, mbti types, dancing in the dark by bruce springsteen, "a do-over", "maybe", shufflemancy, spiritual, 777, 333, psychedelics, hippie, hologram, offline, nature.

quotes that remind me of this person

I go to seek a Great Perhaps. That's why I'm going. So I don't have to wait until I die to start seeking a Great Perhaps. — John Green.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. — Steve Jobs.

I’ll rewrite this whole life and this time there’ll be so much love, you won’t be able to see beyond it. — Warsan Shire.

୨୧ PILE FIVE

who is this person, deep down? two of wands ✧ six of wands ✧ page of cups

A courageous, successful individual. This person has a lot of wanderlust. They are in love with life, in love with themselves, in love with the world. They like to be on the move, to party and be around other people they also admire.

However, they have an impulsive, non-committal side to them that is expressed mainly in the way they approach relationships, especially romantic wise. They have a fear of settling, so they're always on the go, on the search for the next best thing in every way. They may move a lot or have a different crush everyday. Although it isn't inherently bad, I think this person may come off as hard to pin down.

In reality, they're enthusiastic and ready to take on the world. They like the spotlight, they have big dreams too. It gives me Leo energy, in the way they love to be praised, to be adored. Depending on who you're asking, this may be polyamorous or they just enjoy being single and free. Many people describe this person as free-spirited and bold.

At times, their words and behaviors get the best of them. They're not good at keeping secrets and may have quite a temper when angered. They mean well, but there's a diva-like side to this person that can be egocentric or immature, since they've got a bit of a one track mind when it comes to their dreams. They're also very beautiful and they know it. It's also quite the ego boost to be around them - they love to give out compliments and flirt.

channeled words & songs: bisexual, "himbo", bucketlist, pinterest, clean girl era, "i want everything", poetry, interlude: shadow by bts, parallel universe, edm, party girl, wild, erratic, center of attention, instagram, social media influencer, blogger, barbie movie, hungry heart by bruce springsteen, rumors by ross lynch (this song started playing after i finished the section above! very relevant).

quotes that remind me of this person

If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days. — Sylvia Plath.

I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles. — Audrey Hepburn.

amourdivine 2021 - 2024 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content!

DISCLAIMER. tarot is a divination tool, it’s not a substitute for medical and professional advice, nor is it meant to be taken as such. i don’t take responsibility for any choice(s) made by you or others regarding my readings. be mindful ♡

[ilikereadingactually]

Lake of Souls

Lake of Souls by Ann Leckie

what can i even say about this?? i have already established my deep love for Ann Leckie's work, and this collection lives up to all possible expectations. it's spectacular. every single story is an absolute BANGER.

the first section, standalone stories unrelated to her novels, is brimming with surprises and delights. each new premise and scenario presented me with characters i understood and loved immediately, and took me on a journey of unexpected turns. fabulous for any speculative reader honestly, but so particularly wonderful to me and my adhd brain! the imagination and unpredictability of each story kept me absolutely glued, and opened doors into worlds that felt fully realized. i could easily read a novel in every single world Leckie created here, but the stories are also satisfying--i don't NEED a novel in any of them, they are perfectly satiating morsels of lembas bread.

and in the second section we get stories in the Imperial Radch universe, two of which i had actually read before during the deepest dives of my Radch obsession, but which were fantastic to revisit. again, the worldbuilding and character development both stand out as Leckie's greatest strengths, giving insight into times and places outside the scope of her novels with tantalizing bits of in-universe history and folklore. i spent some time yelling out loud about them.

the third section, i now have to confess, i haven't read yet--because they're stories set in the universe of The Raven Tower, which i also have not had time to read yet in between galleys and library books with due dates, and i'd prefer to go into the novel not knowing anything about the world. but i can't imagine, at this point, that any story in this section is going to somehow alter my love for this collection, which is already deep and abiding. looking forward to sneaking in a read of The Raven Tower and then coming back to this!!

the deets

how i read it: an e-galley from NetGalley, which i wanted to read immediately but had to prioritize other deadlines first, so it was sitting approved on my shelf for months calling to me T^T

try this if you: love SFF at its most speculative and imaginative, are compelled by well-developed characters, dig themes of language and translation and the meeting/clashing of cultural norms, or are into Leckie's other work (obv)!

some bits i really liked: it was super hard to choose, so here's connected bits that made me laugh and one that made me holler "BREQ PLEASE" out loud in my empty apartment

"And you left me behind," continued Great Among Millions. "Alone. They asked and asked me where you were and I did not know, though I wished to." It made a tiny, barely perceptible stomp. "They put me in a storeroom. In a box." ... "Eye of Merur," said the first of the Thirty-Six. "We're glad you're back." "They're glad you're back," whispered Great Among Millions, just behind Het's right shoulder. "They didn't spend the time in a box."

---

"She commands me," said Seven-Brilliant-Truths. "And I obey. Sister understands." "Yes," said Sister Ultimately-Justice, not even blinking.

pub date: April 2, 2024! That's tomorrow!!!!! Go get your copy!!

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Since you named it in the Halsin x Ace!tav headcanons, now please do also gale because I'm curious!

- a very ace ⚙️

Alright, by popular(ish) demand:

How Ace!Tav Reacts When They Realize Gale is Into Them

An expansion on this headcanon: Ace!Tav's Reaction to Halsin Propositioning Them

Based on: Astarion x Ace!Tav Masterlist

Okay, now I feel bad because I feel like I've thrown my man Gale under the bus for this, but it really isn't his fault, just a lot of miscommunication

This one is a slower build since Gale is just in the party longer and it's just how he roles

Ace!Tav and Gale form a connection fairly early on

Tav knows they're not the most book smart and so does regularly ask Gale for his input (or to read them something without asking any questions)

Gale is happy to be useful, and just so thrilled to have somebody beside his cat who will listen

This is probably where the miscommunication begins

Gale takes their active listening, and ability to recount the information he taught them as a sign of deeper interest while Tav actively listens because that's just what they do

They're a bard who never learned how to read, listening is the only way they learn anything, plus they have a memory like steel trap

This all comes to a head at the tiefling party

Astarion approaches Tav about having a "night of passion" which Tav turns down because it's obviously not their thing, and they don't really want to have that conversation with Astarion; why spoil a good thing (read I Want I All for more on that subject)

And then Gale says he wants to show them how to experience the weave later that evening and so, they decide to go with him

Tav knows they're in touch with the weave through their music, but never fully understood why or how, only that it works, so to have Gale show them is an experience they can't pass up

Besides, they know how passionate he is about it, who would they be to deny him

So, Gale shows them the weave and when he asks them to picture the concept of harmony, what they imagine is music, the way it fills their body and brings them peace; melody strumming not just through their ears but their whole body into their soul

It's an intimate sensation, one they haven't been able to express with words and for a moment Gale feels it

He tells them he feels like he owes them an apology for being at bit...well, dismissive of their form of magic, it's truly beautiful

And then Tav sees it, a flash of his own mind, and the anticipation of a kiss

That snaps them right out of it, letting the weave disappear around them

Gale, realizing what they saw, is quick to apologize but the moment is ruined and the pair of them quickly make their way back to their own tents to wallow and over think

Tav feels unbelievably guilty, not helped by Astarion's comments the next morning

Astarion isn't jealous, why would he be? But he can't help but ask what Tav and the wizard got up to, using every teasing innuendo he can think of

Tav finally snaps and tells him nothing happened and that they need to talk to Gale

Gale has been properly wallowing and keeping unnaturally silent until Tav pulls him aside to talk

Gale once again apologizes, but he really did think there was a connection between the two of them

He knows he's not much of a wizard these days and he's also very well aware that there is something going on between them and Astarion, but he did hope...well, no point in that is there

Tav feels even more guilty, but is quick to assure him he did nothing wrong, they just don't see him that way

In truth, what they really want, in the deepest part of their hearts, is to be his friend; to be honest, they don't have that many

Gale tells them, "Somehow I doubt that. I can't imagine you being lonely"

Tav only gives him a sad smile, saying "what can I say, I contain multitudes"

Gale sees it then, that they are, in fact, lonely and for a moment sees it in himself; that maybe his feelings he started to develop really do come from that same place of loneliness

Tav watches him carefully asking, "have I hurt you terribly?"

Gale shakes his head, "just a bit bruised, nothing that won't heal. Admittedly, I think it's more my ego than my heart"

He assures them that he does value their friendship, he just might need a minute to recover

He also tells them that whoever they do give their heart to better know how valuable it truly is

It does take Gale a little time to come back to himself, but eventually he's able to become a true friend to Tav with none of the remaining awkwardness

He also makes a point to assure Astarion of the same thing after he senses the vampire glare one too many daggers into his back

As much fun as it is to tease Astarion, he doesn't want to have to sleep with one eye open, if he can help it

[chouxsardine]

Mariner's Complex -- Jake Kiszka x reader

Summary: "Look for the lighthouse when you are lost, it will always bring you home. May the light in your soul guide you, may the love in your heart keep you strong." -- Jake is nervous before going on stage. You know just the right way to calm his nerves.

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x reader

Word Count: 2532

Warnings: 18+! minors be gone, mention of alcohol, mention of anxiety, public sex, unprotected penetrative sex, soft Jake (please let me know if I missed any!)

Genre: Smut, hurt/comfort (kind of)

Author's note: This piece is inspired by the gif above. I am smitten upon seeing it. This is my first time writing smut. It's about vulnerability, about receiving and giving love, lots of love. It is my fictional way of hoping that Jake is reminded of being one of the best guitarists out there and that he is loved by us. Deepest thanks to the wonderful @sacredjake for beta reading and for inspiring and encouraging me to pick up writing and post this. Please do yourself a favor and read her works; they're awesome beyond words. Enjoy!!

🎧: songs that pair nice with this piece: Lost at Sea by Lana Del Rey and Rob Grant; Mariners apartment complex by Lana Del Rey (can you tell I'm bad at titles now?)

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There’s just something about the air in the stadium before the concert; it feels like with every inhale, it immediately turns into adrenaline. With its graininess accentuated, one can almost sense the atoms buzzing in the air, like a shoal of sardines forming a bait ball, enclosing him, a cyclone where he is the eye. Is this what Josh means when he writes “carbon dancing through time” ?

His mind is racing a million miles a second; it’s like hoping onto a car with broken brakes, he’s bound to hit something in the hazardous terrain——

Knock knock. “Jake?”

As if someone pulled the switch, he is snapped back to reality. He immediately recognizes the voice of his lover. The sweetest sound in the world. His shoulder visibly relaxes, the corner of his mouth turning up, and his heart feels tender. He has always appreciated this—forever so considerate and thoughtful, always respecting his privacy even though they have already been together for so long.

“Come in!”

As expected, his lover’s face came into view, the familiar smile.

“I got you the salad you wanted!” You said, raising the white plastic bags in your hands.

You can tell he is anxious the moment you push open the door. Years of a committed relationship must have formed some kind of telepath between you two. You can almost sense it in the air. Is it a thing though? Like the service dogs that can smell it when their owner’s heart is beating too fast. Well, you know someone’s heart is certainly racing now.

You can’t quite figure out where his anxiety is coming from. They boys are at the middle leg of this tour. Is it from the traveling? Or maybe it has to do with his string snapping during soundcheck earlier? Or it could just be his brain playing tricks on him. And you respect that, even amazed or amused because you know it’s from the very same place where all the amazing melodies and witty remarks are born.

You spotted the glass on the vanity. Amber liquid barely covering its bottom, corresponding to the proportionate empty space in the newly-opened bottle of whiskey right next to it. You know Jake is never one to get plastered before going on stage. The alcohol is just a pacifier for his nerves. You follow his gaze to the white roses sitting in the vase. He’s remained quiet all this time, not even trying to hide his feelings, only giving you a smile through his reflection in the mirror. The comfortable silence hangs mellowly like willow branches, a mute radiation of his trust and vulnerability.

You set the bag aside and squat down in front of him, thumb brushing the back of his hand. You know better than to ask questions like “are you okay”. You know that right now your physical presence is already a comfort for him. You’d rather let him take the lead for the rest.

Jake tilts up your chin—a silent cue for kisses. You happily oblige, feeling his lips forming a smile upon contact with yours. He releases a contented sigh, pulling back after a moment. “I’ve missed you.”

“Yeah? You’ve got me now.” Now sitting across his lap, your hand rests gently on his cheek. Jake immediately leans into your touch like a cat, turning his head and pressing kisses into your palm.

“They already double-checked it. I’ll ask them to pay extra attention before the show starts, just to make sure.” You said, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear, revealing the little hoop dangling.

Jake hums, knowing you are referring to the snapped string earlier. Stupid mistake. His throat feels dry, “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I——”

“Shh,” you give him a peck on the lips, “none of that. You don’t have to explain anything. Those feelings are valid. And they are temporary.”

Then a brilliant idea strikes you.

“We’ll take a walk, alright?”

“Here?” He cocks his head in slight confusion.

He immediately recognizes that you are giving him a taste of his own medicine. Well, in a good way. He knows you are talking about one of those “mental health walks” that he proposes when you are engulfed by the noises inside your head. But the backstage is not street gardens or some hiking trials in a park, how will that work?

“Yeah, you have time. Right?”

There’s indeed at least a good half an hour before the last sound check. He can’t argue with you. By the way, when were he ever able to say no to your invitations? This little genius mind of his lovers, constantly conjuring up the most amusing and endearing words and ideas like the hat of a magician. With a resigned smile, he caves in, placing his hands in yours.

“Come on, up you get, you lazy butt.” You step back and pull on his arm.

“Hey, you love this butt!” He protests in feigned grievance.

“Yup, can’t deny it’s a nice one.” You jokingly smack his ass as you follow him out of the dressing room, feeling happier hearing his banter, seeing him slowly getting back to himself. He’ll get there, you will make sure of it.

The corridors are generally quiet around this time, allowing the artists to rest before the real frenzy starts. Occasionally, stage crews pass by, rolling equipments boxes down the hall. You two swiftly move out of their way, hand in hand, strolling as if window shopping in the mall. You are entertaining Jake with a funny little incident you saw on your way to buy him food.

“You should’ve seen it, really,” you snort out a laugh recalling the scene, “that poor lady is struggling so hard and the shopping cart is just running away from her, loaded with two cases of Guinness!”

Jake is laughing with you, slightly shaking his head in disbelief. You turn to admire his profile, the apple of his cheek rising, the wrinkle to his nose deepening, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. There’s nothing you love more than seeing Jake smile and laugh, it never fails to create that fizzy feeling in your heart, like a bubble approaching the surface of a cream soda.

Having jumped out of your storytelling, your attention diverts back to the feeling of Jake’s arm snaking around your waist. Now his hands are sliding up your sides, from the small of your back to the sweet spot on your flank.

He turns to look at you. Upon meeting his gaze, you immediately pick up the implicit plea. His caramel eyes full of admiration, the edge of his iris grows fuzzy. His eyelashes flutter as his gaze falls to your lips.

You cover the distance between you with a kiss. This one is different from the one in the dressing room. The tip of his tongue tickles your bottom lip with small licks before him pulls back a bit and mutters under his breath, “Want you, want to be close to you.”

Once again, you are more than willing to indulge.

It’s just so convenient that you happened to be near the corner where a pilaster protrudes enough to hide you from the passersby. As your back hits the wall, your fingers are already tangled in Jake’s hair, holding him close. You are circled by him, his freshly applied cologne lingers, now well adapted to his skin, bergamot wrapping the hidden notes of pepper and cedar. Jake kisses along your jawline and traces downwards, creating a dotted line of kisses across your breasts and hovering over your navel. His hands tugging on the waist of your pants. As he unzips it smoothly, he dives back in with more kisses, nibbling on the material of your underwear.

“No,” you mumble, tugging on his elbow motioning him to stand up, “I want you in me.” You loved it when he goes down on you, but not now. Now you need it to be about him, you know he needs it too.

There is a halt in his movement, suddenly his eyes a shade darker.

“Yes, let it out, Jake.” You hold your forehead against his, making sure he hears every word certain and clear. Whatever it is, a much-needed release, a claim of territory, an outlet of his bundled nerves. “Use me. Fuck me.”

“You’re gonna be the death of me.” Jake sucks in a breath.

You smirk, tilting your head back against the wall and surrendering more of your body to his arms. Jake’s hands on your thighs cover the coolness of your skin as your pants pool around your ankles. His knuckles tracing your heat through the fabric, the ghostly touch making you squirm.

“Please, Jake.” You loop your arms around his neck, raising up a leg pressing it into the side of his waist.

“So wet for me already, angel.” With frantic eagerness, he takes out his length and pulls your underwear aside. Your slickness draws his hard cock inside as he bottoms out in one firm and steady thrust. Jake was looking down as he enters you, his eyebrows creased in concentration, eyelashes throwing shadows under his eyes. He never fails to marvel at the way your bodies connect, it catches him in awe every time no matter how many times you have fucked, just as you are exploring each other’s bodies for the first time. When his gaze meets yours again, it’s like moonlight spilling behind clouds. You are the only object of his vision.

“Yes!” You mouth silently as he starts moving, him picking up the pace almost instantly as if placed in a running wheel. Jake’s head nuzzles into the crook of your neck, hot breath radiating and him lapping up at whatever area of skin he comes in contact with. His arm goes under your knee and finds leverage on the wall, the other hand holding onto your pelvis, pinning you in place. The rough texture of the brick wall rubs against your back along each shudder, magnifying the titillation deep inside you.

You feel like with each thrust his insecurity and anxiety ebbs away like the snaky morning fog, replaced by his confidence and charming self: the one you know will work his magic on stage tonight just like ever, the one that will make the entire stadium shake and roar just by his fingers moving across six strings, the one that proves both to the world and to himself again and again that “it could be done”.

You can feel him swell and twitch against your walls, you squeeze you thighs and clench, knowing he’s getting close. The spasms of his cock tickling that particular spot to the point of no return, the ecstasy washing over you like a cascade. The whines and screams rolling and tumbling in your chest like a pot of boiling water, threatening to jump out of your mouth. You roll your eyes back and swallow them down, releasing only one suppressed moan of “let go, baby” against Jake’s ear, and that is enough to send him over the edge.

With one jerk of his body, he cums hard. You can feel the additional thickness of his release almost dripping down your crotch. Jake’s whole weight falls towards you with the hunch of his shoulders. His chest presses firmly against your body, its rise and fall teasing your still hard nipples.

You hold his head against your chest as he comes down from the high, fingers brushing away the naughty strands of hair that have flown into the corner of his mouth and stuck to his cheek.

“As much as I would like to stay here forever, you really have to get going. They must be looking for their rockstar everywhere.” You chuckle while shimmying out of your rumpled underwear, using it to clean up.

“Damn.” Jake leans back against the wall as he watches you, still on cloud nine and short of words. For a moment, all he can do is look at you.

“Stop staring.” You nudge him, unable to stop blushing facing his caramel eyes filled with unadulterated adoration. You bet if you could reach into them, you would find a handful of stars. Plus, Jake looks exceptionally beautiful post-fuck, the upturn at the corners of his mouth accentuated the curve of his cupid’s bow. The smug smirk is counterbalanced by the rosy blush on his cheekbones, a tell-tale sign of his satiated desire. Good. That’s what you’d expected and what you’d like to see.

Jake cups your face in both of his hands as he leans in for a kiss. This time, almost childish, his pouted lips pepper all over, the bilabial “mwah” is especially pronounced, causing you to giggle again.

“Quite the walk, huh?” You insinuate.

“Well, now I prefer to call it the ‘mental health fuck’,” Jake slowly straightens his back, resembling a cat stretching after a content nap. “Catch you on the flip side, my love.”

He was already a couple of strides away when he rushes back to kiss you again, catching you in surprise. Aggressive and fervent in his actions, but oh so gentle when his mouth meets yours. This is the type of kiss where he takes the lead, and you are completely at his mercy. The tip of his nose brushes against yours, and his teeth softly bite your lower lip. It’s a kiss that steals your breath and your heartbeat away for tits entirety . “You know you are my lighthouse, yeah?” He stares right into your eyes, his voice low and husky. “ You always guide me back when I’m lost at sea. My Leucothea, my Lady of Luck.”

You feel a lump in your throat, and every word goes straight to your heart. The feelings there are so overwhelming that they rise and swell like tidal waves. It;s so much love that it makes you want to cry.

“Gosh, Jake, such the poet.” That all you manage to say.

“Because you’re my muse, my angel,” Jake smiles again as he steps back one last time. “And now it’s time for me to set sail again, yeah?”

“Aye aye,” you blow him a kiss, “Fair Winds, Captain.”

You watch as he leaves. The Starcatcher symbol on his back standing tall and proud. The crystal embellishments on his jacket scintillate, jet crystals and glass beads shimmers, reflecting the lights like a thousand stars falling onto his shoulders. He is the warrior that breaks their fall, wearing them proud as a crystal armour. You watch as he marches forward, carrying on his shoulders the weight of dreams. Your dearest rocker, the bravest captain.

For Jake, the atoms are still buzzing, but now he can feel them moving rhythmically, like the joyful wings of a hummingbird or the secret dance of bees. They delivering a yet undecipherable but nonetheless auspicious message. Soon he will be going on stage, carrying a heart full of love from his lover, so he can give all his love to his fans out there. And he knows if he looks, he will find you among the crowd, a cluster of flame, a powerhouse of love.

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Thank you so much for reading!! :) any comments and feedbacks are greatly welcomed and deeply appreciated.

The description of Jake's jacket is heavily relied on this post

kudos to who spotted the TLSP reference hehe

If you are in need of some fluff, feel free to check out my another Jake pieces: Permission to Fall || Ticked (all my boxes) || Love is a four-legged word || The Lucky Ones

[psychics4unet]

Love Text Message from Your Future Spouse! 💌✨🔮

Instructions: Look at the 3 images of the piles below. Choose the pile that you feel most drawn to. Trust your intuition and select the one that resonates with you the most. Once you have made your choice, scroll down to read the description for the pile you selected.

I put a lot of effort into this reading, so please show some love by leaving comments, likes, reblogs, and follow me! ❤️💬✨

Paid psychic reading (7 questions for just $7) is available here:

Pile 1:

The Fool 🌟 The Lovers ❤️ The Star 🌠

The Fool suggests a fresh start and a sense of adventure in love. It’s a message from your future spouse about embracing new beginnings with an open heart and excitement. The Lovers highlights a deep, meaningful connection and a sense of unity, showing that your future spouse feels a strong, soul-deep bond with you. The Star brings a message of hope and inspiration, encouraging you to stay positive and believe in the love that is destined for you. Together, these cards show a message of new beginnings in love, a deep and soulful connection, and a hopeful outlook on the future. Your future spouse wants you to know that love is an exciting adventure and that your journey together will be filled with hope and unity.

Example Messages:

"Hey love, I can't wait to start this new adventure with you! 🌟 Let's explore the world together and make every moment unforgettable. 💫❤️"

"I’ve never felt such a deep connection with anyone before. ❤️ You are my soulmate, and I’m excited for all the amazing things our future holds. 🌠"

"Even on the tough days, remember that I’m always here for you. 🌟 Together, we can face anything with hope and love. 💖"

Love this post? Spread the positive vibes by reblogging with your favorite pile number! Remember to like, comment, and follow me for more tarot insights and spiritual guidance. By sharing this post, you'll invite positive energy from the universe into your life. Let's journey together towards enlightenment and fulfillment!

Pile 2:

The Empress 🌺 The Hermit 🧘‍♂️ Page of Cups 💌

The Empress represents nurturing, abundance, and deep love. Your future spouse wants you to know they are eager to create a beautiful, loving life with you. The Hermit indicates a time of inner reflection and wisdom, suggesting that your future spouse values deep emotional understanding and growth. The Page of Cups is a message of affection and emotional openness, showing that your future spouse is prepared to offer you their heart and share their feelings honestly. Together, these cards convey a message of deep love, emotional depth, and the importance of understanding and nurturing each other in the relationship. Your future spouse is excited about building a loving and abundant life with you.

Example Messages:

"I’m dreaming of building a beautiful life with you, filled with love and abundance. 🌺 Let’s nurture our relationship and make it bloom. 💖"

"I’ve been reflecting on how much you mean to me. 🧘‍♂️ Your love is my guiding light, and I can’t wait to share my deepest feelings with you. 💌"

"Just wanted to remind you how much I adore you. 💌 Every moment with you feels like a sweet dream come true. 🌺"

Love this post? Spread the positive vibes by reblogging with your favorite pile number! Remember to like, comment, and follow me for more tarot insights and spiritual guidance. By sharing this post, you'll invite positive energy from the universe into your life. Let's journey together towards enlightenment and fulfillment!

Pile 3:

The Magician 🎩 Two of Cups 💕 Ten of Pentacles 🌟

The Magician symbolizes manifesting dreams and making things happen with intention. Your future spouse is letting you know they are actively working to make your shared dreams a reality. The Two of Cups represents a deep and harmonious partnership, emphasizing a mutual, balanced love and connection between you both. The Ten of Pentacles signifies long-term stability and abundance, highlighting that your future spouse envisions a future of lasting prosperity and emotional fulfillment with you. Together, these cards show a message of actively creating and manifesting a successful, balanced, and fulfilling relationship. Your future spouse is committed to making your dreams come true and building a lasting, prosperous future together.

Example Messages:

"I’m working hard to make all our dreams come true. 🎩 Together, we’re creating something magical, and I’m so excited for our future. 💕"

"You and I make the perfect team. 💕 I’m grateful for our deep connection and all the beautiful moments we share. 🌟"

"I’m envisioning a future full of love, happiness, and prosperity for us. 🌟 Let’s build our dreams together and enjoy every step of the journey. 🎩"

Love this post? Spread the positive vibes by reblogging with your favorite pile number! Remember to like, comment, and follow me for more tarot insights and spiritual guidance. By sharing this post, you'll invite positive energy from the universe into your life. Let's journey together towards enlightenment and fulfillment!

Attention! This reading is for entertainment purposes only. This tarot reading does not give a 100% guarantee that all the described situations will occur or being ultimate truth. You build your own life and destiny and only you know yourself best. Remember to reblog, like, comment, and follow for more cosmic guidance and positivity!

Paid readings (7 questions for just $7) are also available for more in-depth insights and personal guidance! 🌟💫

[riizebabie444]

𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙫𝙞𝙗𝙚𝙨 𝙥𝙖𝙘 🌠

🌠 ─── hello and welcome, today’s tarot reading will be a sort of vibe check, basically what vibes me and my cards are getting from you at the moment.

🌠 ─── picking your pile: take a deep breath and allow your soul to centre itself. when you feel your mind balanced and cleared, allow yourself to be drawn to an image. your eyes may gravitate to one, or you may close your eyes and feel which image is calling out.

🌠 ─── be sure to check out my other readings and don’t forget to share and give feedback. disclaimer: all readings done are for entertainment only. please do not use my tarot readings as a replacement for legitimate advice.

🌠 ─── masterlist. paid readings. exchange rules.

donations. games/events. feedback.

𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚 🌠

firstly, i'm getting pile one that you are in creative energy right now. you could be experiencing a bout of inspiration and expressing yourself creatively, such as with art, writing or music. it could also be creativity with problem solving or coming up with a project idea. but i'm sensing there is something playful and personal to you, whatever creative thing you are doing or are planning to do is something you will enjoy. perhaps it is something you did when you were younger. it's going to bring out your inner child, help you understand your deepest passions. it's very nostalgic.

for some of you, you may be spending too much time daydreaming. you have a vast imagination which is a wonderful thing but too much of your time is being spent on what if's and unrealistic desires, such as fantasising about your life as a celebrity when in real life you have homework due that you've not yet completed. like i said, it's great to have a wild and creative imagination, but this is your check in to get control of your mind because it's affecting your productivity and efficiency. you can be ambitious, but be practical also instead of doing things in your head but not in real life.

𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙬𝙤 🌠

for some of you who chose pile two, you may be feeling like your life is chaotic right now. i think for a number of you, not all of you, you may have experienced some conflict recently. perhaps an argument with a family member or falling out with a friend. because of this, you feel like your life is falling apart. for the most part, you guys are going through a strengthening experience. you're stronger than you've been before, and more confident. you may also be struggling to adapt to a new change in your life.

overall, there is shifting energy, like changes are happening in your life. they could be big or small but the majority of you will get through this quickly. even still, you're feeling quite balanced. some of you might be learning something also, or getting ready to learn, such as preparing for the new school year or investing in personal classes. you might be feeling restless, like in an excited way but still nervous for something new. but again, you're handling your anxiousness well. i'm getting calm and balanced energy, but for some of you, you need to get over this tower moment before you can find balance and clarity again.

𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙚𝙚 🌠

some of you are stuck in a shell, others are coming our of your shell. have you been feeling introverted lately? those kinds of moods where you don't want to leave your bedroom or home. you kind of just want to wallow in your own energy and avoid people and situations. i feel like most of you who chose this pile are homebodies anyway so you don't mind being stuck in this energy. but at the same time, you're looking forward to a positive energy shift. you're ready to finally leave your bedroom and see the sun. you're energy is being renewed, you're ready to let go of the loneliness and gloominess.

there is enlightening energy walking away from this isolation. i think some of you might be feeling disconnected from the world and from the people around you. maybe some of you got caught in this energy because of a breakup or a falling out. there is separation involved with some of you which has caused an imbalance in your life but you are slowly finding that balance again and putting effort into making things up to yourself. i don't feel this energy is too depressing, or too sad. however, it's definitely lonely and the decision to escape isolation is in your hands. make those plans you've been thinking about all week. focus on those projects that have been begging for your attention. it takes one small step start the shift in energy.

𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙪𝙧 🌠

are you preparing for something right now, pile four? quite ambitious about something, you're excited for it. i feel like it's taking up your mind for most of the day. you've been looking forward to this. i think for some you're feeling quite practical and productive. i'm getting starting a new job or starting the new school year vibes. you've been looking forward to it. you feel confident. you have in your mind the exact type of person you want to be. you're excited to learn new skills and accomplish what you've been wanting. but you may be having issues with concentration.

for some, i think you have an exam or a project due but you've been neglecting it and it is making you feel frustrated. it's immature on your part. you've also been very materialistic lately, like you want to buy the new trendy thing you saw on the internet or you want to buy a new tech product like a phone or a laptop. you're having thoughts that you won't be happy until you own that thing but the problem is that materialism is like an addiction. you can't keep buying new things that aren't worth the money, it will hold you back. start asking yourself if you really need these things or if you need to start controlling your urges and take time off from the internet.

𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙛𝙞𝙫𝙚 🌠

pile five, i think you are feeling quite stubborn art the moment. are you refusing to apologise for something? do you feel like others are ganging up on you? you're very determined but you are experiencing energy that is overbearing. it could be you're attitude to others, or others attitude towards you, or even your attitude to yourself. you want to get away from it all. you're feeling quite detached, however you are also feeling great awareness. you understand that with freedom comes vulnerability, but still, you're willing to make sacrifices as long as you can get away.

the energy and thoughts you are having are very much a double edged sword. for example, you're thinking of doing something which will benefit yourself but at the cost of those around you. be mindful of your ambitions because they can be damaging to yourself also. there is a hint of betrayal here, it's not for all of you. are you feeling defeated? do you feel like you're being forced to surrender? it's quite heavy energy, i think you're really going through it, pile five. but my message to you is to not stop planning for your future. despite all that is holding you back, you need a plan for if you ever decide to make the move to get away from it all. things will brighten up eventually.

𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙨𝙞𝙭 🌠

i think some of you are entering a celebratory period. it doesn't need to be for you necessarily, perhaps you are celebrating for someone else's occasion. but i think those who chose pile six are in a mood to be social and meet with friends and family, maybe dance to music and so on. some of you might be feeling weary of others' intentions. perhaps you don't feel comfortable with the way someone is treating you or you're getting a weird vibe from someone. you shouldn't doubt your intuition but at the same time, don't let it hold you back. go forth and meet with your people, celebrate whatever it is knowing that if anyone tries to hurt you, it's a reflection of their own insecurities, not yours.

as much as you want to, don't go picking for drama or calling people out. remain comfortable in your own wise energy and focus on the positivity in your life and of those around you. that is what will make them shut up, because they know their negativity or toxicity can't affect you. you have dreams and you want to reach them, so go for it. don't let anyone hold you back. let things remain a mystery. you don't need to know every single thing. i'm feeling that you want to be a high energy/high vibe person but you're not cutting out the things and people that lower your vibe. you're feeling afraid but just remember, you'll have so much more to celebrate when you do.

© riizebabie444 — all rights reserved. please do not copy, steal, repost or translate my readings on any site. any act of which will be classed as plagiarism.

[lunarlianna]

Asteroid Lust

Asteroid Lust (4386) it represents our deepest darkest desires. As Lucifer would say “What do you desire?”. It doesn’t refer just at the sexual aspect but also to what we want to do in excess or what do we find attractive. Please read the sign and the house as well, since I’ve notice it most of the times will work 50/50 on how much it resonates.

Lust in Aries/1st house You may be an adrenaline junky, you like to test the limits that your body has. You like to dominate your partners, if someone massages your head it may turn you on. You are attracted to risky places, maybe you are an exhibitionist. You like when your partner is confident.

Lust in Taurus/2nd house You like to connect yourself with all the five senses. You may have a tendency to have excesses when it comes to food. You love lavishing and exquisite meals. You may like to be sense deprived during intimate moments. You may be attracted towards partners that have a sensual voice.

Lust in Gemini/3th house You are attracted and like to have your brain stimulated. We can say that you are a sapiosexual human. In the bedroom you may like to role play and dirty talk. You may also make a lot of obscene jokes. You may have an on and off sexual desires.

Lust in Cancer/4th house You need comfort and protection. You are attracted towards partners that makes you feel safe. You may have an obsession with decorating your house. You may like to be intimate when the Moon is full and also somewhere near water spots. The bust and hips are very sensitive.

Lust in Leo/5th house Deep down you want to be famous or know for your talents. You’re attracted to fun and spontaneous partners, does that can activate your inner child. Your stomach is very sensible and praises are a must in the bedroom.

Lust in Virgo/6th house You like to add value to someone or the community. You enjoy being of service. Probably you like to be submissive in the bedroom. You may have fantasy that implies doctors or nurses. You may try holistic medicine in order to increase or stimulate your partner’s pleasure.

Lust in Libra/7th house: You may express your sensual part more when you are in a relationship. You may also have the tendency to stay way to long in a relationship or to never take a break from dating. You are in love with romance more than anything else. You may like being touched around on the back, hips and lower back especially.

Lust in Scorpio/8th house: You like to merge yourself with your partner. You may enjoy inflicting pain; you may like playing around the fine line of pleasure with pain. You may channel kundalini energy or activated it without realizing it. You need to transform yourself through sex. You may have more extreme taste in love making.

Lust in Sagittarius/9th house: You may be attracted to foreigners or have a think for accents. You may want to experiment outside of your house or country. You need space to explore your sexuality. You are willing to try anything at least once. You may like more rough intercourse.

Lust in Capricorn/10th house: You are attracted to status and power. You may have a domination fantasy. You may also use sex-appeal to climb the leader of social status. You have high stamina and enjoy having all night sex. Usually, your very selective to the people you go in bed with.

Lust in Aquarius/11th house: You may want to be polyamorous or have more than 1 partner. You don’t like conventional settings. You need freedom to express and explore yourself. You may enjoy cosplay and role plays. You may be one that prefer having friends with benefits.

Lust Pisces/12th house: You have a desire to a soulmate and to end all the pain in the world. You project your fantasies into your partner. You may have a hunger for sexual encounter that feel etherical or that merges your souls together.

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[multi-fan-dom-madness]

Midnight Masquerade - Rex and Cody

Chapter Summary: The bottle lands perfectly between Rex and Cody. You've never been one to back down from a challenge.

Chapter Warnings: 18+ content; angel!Rex x f!reader x devil!Cody; kinks: threesome + dirty talk; praise kink, degradation kink, spanking (one instance), oral (both m and f receiving), bratting and brat training, spitroast, poorly translated Mando'a, 'monster' interpreted rather loosely for this one, absolutely no cl0nc3st, if I missed any please let me know!

A/N: Not fully happy with the monster part of this, but in terms of smut, come get y'all juice! some inspo taken from the lovely @sev-on-kamino for the part where Cody asks a leading question. Mando'a roughly translates to "plaything" (geroya for 'play' and 'kebis' for 'thing')

Word Count: 4.0k (do not perceive me)

Read the intro here! | Suggested listening

...Rex.

No, Cody. 

No. Hang on. You lean down and align your vision with the direct line of sight of the bottle’s mouth, and realize with a jolt that it’s perfectly between the two men. Blinking, you straighten up. The entire table gives you an expectant look, but none more so than the two men the bottle seems stuck between. Nerves and arousal pulse through you, drying your mouth. Kark, would they...?

Into the momentary silence, Cody speaks, one eyebrow raised. His wings, dominating the space with jet black feathers, rustle in impatience. “Clearly, it’s pointing at me.” 

Next to him, Rex’s face, bathed in the light of his halo, scrunches in a frown. “Are you sure about that, vod?” He gestures to the bottle. “Look, it’s pointing at my arm.” 

“Yeah, and mine is right next to yours, di’kut.” 

They devolve into petty bickering, jostling each other as they try to prove which one of them the bottle actually points to. Worrying your bottom lip, you spare a glance around the table. The others have moved on from the moment, having not been chosen, and have resumed their own conversations. 

With a sigh, you stand, chair screeching on the stone floor. Both Rex and Cody snap their attention to you, frozen in mid-wrestle, Rex’s head nearly pinned beneath Cody’s arm. 

Hands on your hips, you tilt your head. “Boys,” you tut. “There’s no need to fight. If you can’t decide, I will.” 

Cody reluctantly lets go of his brother, a scowl threatening to mar his features. 

“What’s your choice, mesh’la?” Rex asks. The look on his face is serene, angelic—there’s no other word for it. Whatever decision you make, he’ll be okay with.

“Yes,” you say. At their blank stares, you chuckle. “Both. And. What do you say?” 

Cody and Rex exchange a single glance before both men scramble out of their chairs. Well—Cody scrambles, knocking empty shot glasses askew and sending them hurtling off the table to shatter on the flagstones beneath. He ignores the grumbles of protest from the rest of the troopers, skidding to a halt in front of you with a smirk damn near as devilish as the ram’s horns curling out of his head. 

For his part, Rex stands, exuding calmness even from across the table, and spreads his wings. The white, pearlescent feathers seem to glow dully from within for a moment—and then he beats them once, gliding over the table in one smooth movement.

Your mouth falls agape as Rex settles onto his feet beside you. “Woah.” 

He gives you a small smile, one that steals your breath. The look he gives you makes you feel like there’s some long-standing inside joke that only you and he share; butterflies flutter in your veins.

“Are you gonna just stand there eye-fucking her, or are you gonna actually fuck her, vod?” Cody’s voice jolts you out of the golden depths of Rex’s gaze. 

Meeting Cody’s eyes, you shiver despite yourself. His eyes are dark, boring into your very soul. Goosebumps erupt over your skin at the sensation of your deepest desires being dredged up from the vaults of your mind. Core clenching with need, you whimper almost silently. 

“What was that about eye-fucking, Codes?” Rex teases. 

Cody rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. C’mon. Let’s get somewhere private before I change my mind and fuck you right here.” 

Chest tightening with blazing desire, you have no choice but to allow yourself to be ushered forward by them both. You can only imagine the sight you present to the rest of the partygoers, a literal angel and devil at your shoulders. Rex to your left, Cody on your right, your hands itch to reach out and grab theirs. You can feel their wings, feathers soft and warm, tickling at the backs of your legs as you walk; idly, you wonder what those feathers might feel like beneath your palms. 

It’s Rex who makes the first move. His fingers are strong and cool where he laces them through your own, and the reassuring smile he gives you makes you melt. 

Not one to be outdone, Cody grabs your other hand. His skin is so warm it’s nearly hot, like he’s burning from within with hellfire. Kriff, you’re not one who buys into some of the metaphysical beliefs you’ve heard from various folks on Coruscant, but if there is an afterlife where souls are either punished or blessed for eternity, you’re pretty sure which side this night is about to land you in.

You don’t really care. 

The two men escort you through a series of hallways to a random door, which opens onto a sparsely furnished bedroom. Seems your hosts know exactly what their guests would want from this night of revelry. Aside from the massive bed, hanging from the ceiling is a wrought iron chandelier with lit candles that cast flickering lights on the cobblestone walls, giving the space a rather fantasy-esque feel. Tucked in one corner stands a washbasin with a full water jug. Good. You’re going to need hydration after tonight.

Licking your lips, you glance between the other two out of the corners of your eyes, before dropping their hands. As you step deeper into the room, Rex shuts and bolts the door. The two men remain close by the entrance. They regard you with unabashed curiosity, though you pick up their wildly different intentions: one bright and willing to support, one dark and willing to break. 

You urge your racing heart to settle. “So. Ground rules. Someone says ‘red,’ and this all stops. That clear?” 

Cody gives a single, terse nod while Rex smiles encouragingly. 

“Great.” You shimmy out of your clothing, leaving you in nothing but your shoes in front of both men. Rex’s white toga, belted with gold trim, begins to tent as his cheeks flush, taking in the sight of your nude form. Cody’s hands twitch toward unbuttoning his black shirt, his own bulge growing noticeable. 

Your chest rises and falls with each shallow breath. In the chilled air of the chamber, your nipples stiffen, goosebumps arising once again all over your body. Their gazes are heavy on your skin, lingering in all your dips and curves. 

“She’s beautiful, isn’t she, Cody?” Rex murmurs. His wings shift against his back. “Bet she’s gonna be such a good girl for us.” 

Cody snorts. “Bet she’s gonna be a good slut for us. Isn’t that right, princess?” When your thighs press together without realizing, Cody smirks. “Yeah, she is. Filthy little plaything.” 

Body flushed with warmth, you can’t decide who to focus on as they begin to approach, one step at a time. Rex flanks to your right, while Cody moves to you directly. His hands roughly cup your face and drag you forward to close the distance. Lips crashing into yours, you can’t help the moan that escapes you as Cody grips the back of your neck with one hand. His other hand immediately finds a home at your breast, tweaking your already-sensitive nipple, squeezing the soft flesh. His kiss is dizzying in its demand: his mouth moves against yours with feverish intent, dead set on making your knees wobble. 

And when they do wobble, your legs threatening to buckle, Rex is right there. One of his arms snakes around your waist to hold you upright against his chest, now bare. The fingertips of his other hand trail lightly over your thigh, skating close to your heated core. When Cody plies your mouth open with his tongue—forked tongue, you realize, you groan, arching back into Rex. 

“Such a sweet thing,” Rex murmurs in your ear between soft kisses to your shoulder. “So soft for us. Gonna make you feel so good, mesh’la.” 

Cody lets you break the kiss, your chest heaving with ragged breaths. His eyes glint in the candlelight. Swollen lips pulling back in a roguish grin, his forked tongue flickers out to lick his teeth. 

“G’on, geroy’bis, give Rex some love,” Cody husks. 

Already dizzy and dazed with lust, you find you don’t have it in you to turn in Rex’s embrace. Rather, you simply lean your head back and tilt to find his mouth, already seeking your own. You sigh in contentment as his lips slot against yours. His kiss is soft, gentle, and yet no less debilitating for it. Your head swims with pleasure as Cody continues to tug on your nipples. When his mouth latches onto one of them, you keen into Rex’s mouth—he uses the opportunity to taste you, his tongue sliding against your own.

Your eyes flutter open in surprise when one of Cody’s thick, hot fingers trails over your slit. You whine as his finger traces the lightest circle around your aching clit, but he withdraws his touch before you can properly react. Rex pulls away from your lips to give you a smirk that, if he didn’t have a halo and angel’s wings, could be called sinful. 

“What d’you want, sweetheart, hm?” Rex asks. His grip shifts to tilt your head back toward Cody. “Tell him what you want. Use your words like a good girl.” 

Fidgeting under Cody’s heavy stare, you try to recall some of the confidence you’d had just a few minutes ago, back at the table. “W-Well, Commander? Aren’t you going to touch me like the slut you say I am?” 

The dark smirk that sprawls over his face makes you immediately regret your words. 

“Oh, no, geroy’bis,” he purrs, voice dangerously low as he crowds into your personal space. You try and fail to not cower back into Rex’s embrace. “No, no. Sluts take what they’re given and don’t talk back. Brats, on the other hand...” His eyes rake your trembling form. “Brats get their mouths stuffed until they learn their manners.” 

You stiffen in Rex’s arms, breath freezing halfway in your lungs as desire blazes through you. When you don’t move, gaze locked on Cody’s self-assured smirk, Rex shifts behind you.

“Cody,” Rex warns. “Cyare, color?” 

“Green,” you gasp out. 

“Good girl,” he murmurs, as Cody chucks under your chin with a smug, “That’s what I thought.” 

“On your knees,” Cody commands, voice hard as the stone your knees crack against as your body betrays you. You’d intended to take your time, continue pushing the devil’s buttons, but the moment Rex released you, your legs collapsed. 

Body burning with embarrassment and lust alike, you peer up through your eyelashes as Cody makes quick work of the zipper of his pants to free his cock. Flushed and weeping, the head of his dick bobs in front of your face, making you go cross-eyed as you try to appraise its full size. Maker, he’s big, thick and long. Your mouth waters. Cody steps closer; his hard length taps against the side of your face, smearing precum along your cheek. 

Behind you, you’re aware of Rex watching with equal parts amusement and concern. And all around you, feathers, warm and insulating, envelope the three of you. Black over white, white over black, they both stretch their wings in a protective circle to embrace you. Stars, you want to reach out and touch, to feel the down beneath the flight primaries—but then Cody grips your jaw just hard enough to force your mouth open, and you accept his flushed tip in your mouth. 

Your lips stretch to accommodate him as best as you can. There’s just so much of him. Lapping at the vein on the underside, you hollow your cheeks as he slowly pushes further into your hot, wet mouth. His teeth grind as his eyes drill into yours, dark and slitted. His cock is heavy on your tongue. Whining around him, you shift on your knees to alleviate the growing discomfort there. 

“Rex,” Cody says, voice strained. “Play with her cunt. Wanna watch her eyes cross while I fuck her face.” 

A gush of slick drools from your folds, coating the insides of your thighs. Rex repositions himself, at first you think to reach around from behind you, but then one hand gently nudges your knees apart as his grip lifts your ass just enough for him to shimmy beneath. You inhale sharply through your nose at his hot breath on your folds. 

As Rex wraps his arms around your thighs and tugs you down, Cody thrusts into your mouth shallowly. You jerk and groan, mind and body short-circuiting between the two very different stimuli. Rex’s tongue is cool and languid where it swirls over your pussy; Cody’s length is hard and domineering as he ruts into your mouth. All you want to do is kneel there and take it; but you want more than that. Hollowing your cheeks, you suck with every pull back even as you grind your hips down against Rex’s mouth. Moans claw out of your chest and vibrate around Cody’s length, making him grit his teeth. 

“Kriff, geroy’bis,” he huffs out. “Got such a dirty fuckin’ mouth. Suckin’ my cock like a karkin’ pro.” 

You hum in satisfaction. Beneath you, Rex nudges your clit with his nose as he fucks your hole with his tongue. Pleasure ripples through you, centered at your heated core and pulsing outward. 

Out of curiosity, you reach down with one hand and tentatively wrap your fingers around Rex’s halo. All at once, your body jerks taut with a cry. Blinding radiance floods your body—and just for a moment, you can feel Rex as if he is you. You taste yourself on your tongue, feel the way your folds part under Rex’s ministrations, feel the aching length of arousal at the apex of his thighs. Rex groans; you feel it rumble in your chest like the sound comes from you.

Yanking your hand back, you peer with wide, teary eyes up at Cody, who clearly doesn’t understand what just happened. 

Rex lifts your hips. “K-Kriff. Are you okay?” 

You motion vaguely a thumbs-up so he can see. 

He hesitates, before delving back into your folds. Despite the sensation of being linked is gone, the knowledge of how much this is affecting Rex throws you right back into your pleasure, the cord in your belly winding tighter with every wag of his tongue. 

“If I pull out, you gonna be good and ask nicely for what you want?” Cody asks. He doesn’t relent in his pace. His cock drives incrementally deeper into your mouth with each thrust. Tears dew at the corners of your eyes as you try not to gag, squeezing your fists tight. You can’t answer, can’t even nod.

Cody hums. “That’s too bad.” He holds the back of your neck with a firm grasp. “Guess you still haven’t learned manners.” 

Eyes widening, you wail brokenly around Cody as he begins to fuck your face in earnest. His fat cock pushes to the back of your throat with every stutter of his hips forward. To match the intensity, Rex begins rocking your hips back and forth across his face. His lips latch around your clit and he sucks. Your toes curl. Vision going blurry, you squirm, trapped between them.

Cody releases you and takes a shaky step backward. You cough and sputter, tears leaking down your face, yet you can’t help the way your core lurches at the sight of Cody so affected. What little of his skin you can see beneath his clothes is shiny with a layer of sweat, his cheeks flushed, hair disheveled where his fingers ran through it. 

While you try to regain your breath, you can feel your orgasm approaching, a molten thread pulling taut in your belly. Dropping your gaze to Rex, you keen at the sight of his face slick with your juices, shining in the warm light of his halo. 

“Gonna- gonna—” You gasp. 

Rex digs his fingers into the meat of your thighs as you ride out your high, twitching against his mouth as he continues to lick and suck you through it. Once you begin to come down, panting harshly, Rex gently lifts you off his face. You become aware of a new sensation. Along your arms, something cool and ticklish brushes against your skin. 

Peeking your eyes open, you gasp in wonder at the long, luminescent feathers dragging slowly up your biceps. Rex flexes his wings to caress you. A shiver cascades down your spine.

“Did so good for us, mesh’la,” Rex croons. “So pretty when you cum like that. So pretty when your mouth is stuffed full of cock.” 

Without thinking, you reach out to touch one of Rex’s wings. The feathers are soft, and he holds still to let you stroke the long primary feathers, fondle the shorter coverts. He shudders beneath you. 

“Feel good?” you murmur. 

He hums in response, eyes sliding shut. When you burrow your fingers beneath the stiffer feathers, seeking the down beneath, Rex groans low in his throat. Your nails gently scrape over the warm, membranous skin of his wings, cushioned by downy under-feathers. Under your fingers, you can feel the blood pumping through his veins, fast and hard, just as affected as you are. You watch in fascination as Rex’s expression contorts into one of serene bliss as you stroke your thumb over his skin.

“Mesh’la,” he croons. 

You glance up at Cody shyly. “Can I- Can I touch yours, too?” 

“Greedy,” he accuses, but there’s no real heat behind his words. “Let’s move you to the bed, and then yes, you can touch.”

On unsteady legs, you hobble to the bed, Rex and Cody in tow just as soon as they strip completely. Cody positions you in the center of the bed and, one leg folded beneath him, slots himself at your side. Rex mirrors his pose on the other side, face still sticky with your slick. Once more, their wings spread with a gentle rustle to envelop you. At a nod from Rex, you reach with both hands and bury your fingers into white and black feathers. 

Cody’s forehead drops against your shoulder with a low moan. Rex captures your lips in a sweet kiss, setting your head spinning again. The taste of yourself makes you whimper. His lips curve against yours as you let your hands wander. Brushing over their wings, you smooth your palms over Rex’s and Cody’s thighs, feeling the powerful muscles there flex in response. Drawing farther up, you grope blindly for their lengths. 

All three of you sigh simultaneously as your fingers wrap around them. Rex is shorter than Cody, but thicker too. You moan in anticipation. 

“Filthy fuckin’ thing,” Cody mumbles against your shoulder. His heated body makes sweat begin to dew on your skin. “Couldn’t just pick one or the other, could you? Had to have two cocks. We’re gonna ruin you, princess. Split you open so good you’ll never want another dick.” 

Rex nudges you to turn and face Cody. As the devil’s lips smother yours, Rex trails a featherlight hand down your spine, pressing open-mouthed kisses to your shoulder and neck. 

“You’re so good for us, mesh’la,” Rex praises quietly. “Made to take us.” 

You whine in agreement, nodding within Cody’s grip. 

“Gonna fuck you now, geroy’bis,” Cody says as he pulls away. His eyes never leave yours, hot and dark, as he continues, “You should feel her mouth, vod. Feel how sinful those lips are when they’re wrapped around you.” 

Whimpering, you flutter your eyelashes at the implication of Cody’s words. 

He grins at you, wolfish and lustful. “That’s right. Hands and knees, filthy girl.” 

Crouched on your elbows, your ass presented to Cody, you bite your lip as Rex’s cock fills your vision. Cody’s steadying grasp on your hip keeps you grounded. His fingers gather some of your slick to spread over his length, and then the blunt head of him presses into you. 

You flick your tongue against the underside of Rex’s tip, moaning at the way your cunt stretches to fit Cody. The deeper Cody pushes, the farther into your mouth you draw Rex, until finally, they’re both seated fully within your holes, one dripping slick and one drooling spit. Cody’s hands splay over your ass for a moment before—

Smack!

You jolt with a surprised, muffled yelp at the stinging ass smack. 

“Doing so good for us,” Rex coos. His breathing is strained, coming in harsh gasps, but he gives you a smile when you glance up to see his expression. “Cody, on three?” 

Cody grunts out an affirmative. “One, two—” 

“Three.” 

They set a devastating rhythm. As Cody withdraws from your tight heat, Rex pushes just a bit more down your throat—then drags your head back as Cody pushes his hips flush against your ass. You’re manhandled between the two of them; Rex’s hands on your head keep you stable while Cody pounds against the spot in your cunt that makes you see stars. Whining, drooling, you relax your throat to take Rex as deep as you can as Cody takes what he wants from you.

The air is full of the sounds of both of them fucking you. The wet squelch of your pussy echoes in direct counterpart to the way you gag on Rex’s length; and orchestrating it all are both men’s voices, muttering filth and praise and worship. At some point, you lose track of who says what, their voices blending into the buzzing in your ears as your orgasm begins to build again. 

“That’s it, little one, take those fuckin’ cocks.” 

“Such—a—good—whore—for—us—ngh!” 

“You’re doing so well, sweetheart, letting us use you like this.” 

“Yeah, you gettin’ close? Feel that tight pussy chokin’ me. Cum for us. You can do it.” 

That last is in response to the way that you wail, the sound tearing from your chest as Cody reaches around and presses his fingers to your clit. Body locking up, you pull from Rex’s length with a messy pop as your orgasm crashes into you. Cody fucks you through it, hard and fast, unrelenting. Even when you begin to shake, overstimulated, he slides his cock into you until, with a growl, he buries himself to the hilt and moans. 

You nearly cum again at the feeling of his cock pulsing in you, spilling his hot seed into your sopping cunt. “C-Cody.” 

He slips his softening length from you, but then Rex is immediately there to fill the gap. Using both of your spends as extra lube, Rex’s length splits you apart at the seams. Dimly you’re aware of Cody collapsing on the bed next to you, his gaze warm and caring, horns retracting into his skull. But then Rex tilts your hips just a little, and you can’t even scream, the breath knocked from you as he grinds into you.

Where Cody was rough and insistent, Rex is gentle yet firm. Even as your body jolts in blinding pleasure, he holds you completely still so he can hit that devastating spot in you with deadly precision. You’re swept away by your third orgasm; it hits you so suddenly that you don’t have time to cry out, instead small squeaks falling from your lips. 

Like Cody, Rex stills deep in you and spurts his cum into your stretched, wrecked hole. He nearly collapses on top of you, barely catching himself on his hands. The three of you pant and lay there, trying to recover from the mind-melding experience you just shared. With trembling fingers you reach to trace the scar around Cody’s eye. He hums, leaning into your touch. 

A giggle escapes you, tired and fucked-out. “Holy shit.” 

“You can say that again,” Rex mutters, pulling out at last. 

You whimper at the loss and at the sensation of both of their spends welling out of your spent cunt. Rex pushes some of it back in with his thumb. Moaning, you plant your face in the cushioned bed. 

“Just relax, cyare,” Cody says with a contented sigh. “We’ll take care of you.” 

“You already did,” you mumble thickly, gesturing to your lower half. 

Two rumbling chuckles echo in the room. Rex says, “You know what he meant.” 

Turning your head to meet Cody’s eyes once again, you simply smile. “I know.”

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[bangtan-bish]

YANDERE! BTS Reaction: They kill you by accident

⚠️ WARNING: Read the title, there will be mentions of blood, violence, death, murder-suicide, and other disturbing topics. If you are uncomfortable with any of the topics above, DO NOT READ THIS! I will write more tame scenarios and fics in the future. Thank you for reading, love ya! ⚠️

|| MAKNAE LINE ||

P A R K J I M I N

"I told you to stay away from him, you know he's no good!" He yelled, grabbing you by your left wrist. The anger flared up in his eyes when you tried to pull away from his grasp. "Jimin, I'm sorry, please stop!" You cried, trying to reason with him, get him to calm down and snap out of it. But you made it so much worse when you pulled away though, and you realized much too late. Blinded by rage, Jimin wrapped his hands around your neck and squeezed. The terror in your eyes satisfying some sick and twisted part of his soul, the part that dictated whether you lived or not. You choked out pleas of for him to stop through the asphyxiation and

CRACK!

The light faded out of your eyes almost instantly and you stopped struggling. Your neck was craned at inhuman angle, Jimin realizes and drops you. "{___} this isn't funny, I get I overreacted, okay?" Jimin looked down at your limp, lifeless body still not registering that you are gone. "Get up!" He yelled grabbing you by the collar of your shirt, no response. The panic began to set in, "Please! Please, get up! Say something I'm begging you, I'll let you leave, just speak to me!" the room was still deathly silent, full of only his heavy, ragged breaths.

He had just killed you.

He could have sworn he felt his breath catch in his chest at the thought, felt his heart stop beating. He couldn't, no wouldn't, do this without you. You were everything to him, how could he have done this to you? To himself? He didn't even realize that the tears had started to pour from his eyes, streaming out in a steady pace that matched the apologies coming from his mouth. Continously, endlessly apologizing. 'It's not going to bring them back to us,' the voice in his head chimed in. It was right. He destroyed you with his own hands.

Atonement.

That's what he needed to do. It didn't matter anymore he just wanted your forgiveness, to see you one last time. Even if the consequences meant watching you from the deepest, darkest pits of hell. 'We deserve that...' the voice spoke up again. He had just extinguished the brightest light in the world, the sun didn't even compare to you. He deserved that all and so, so much more.

He knew what he had to do, he walked up into what used to be your shared bedroom and kneeled down in front of the closet. He opened it, reaching towards the very back of it and feeling around. He felt something cold and metallic touch the back of his hand. He slid it out and opened it. For moment he hesitated, second guessing whether this is was really happening. But he shooed the feeling away, quieting the noise in his head. He felt the coldness against him, he knew what was coming, but he had to do it.

"I'm so sorry, darling..."

BANG!

K I M T A E H Y U N G

Taehyung was usually very gentle and playful with you or anyone for that matter, but when angry, he became instantaneously violent. That was the case right now. He paced around the room, the anxiety pumping steadily through his veins then he turns to you. "I thought I taught you better than this, hmm?" He stopped in the center of the room, "Answer me, brat!" He spat walking towards you aggressively, you flinch but the hit ever comes. For the first few seconds you're scared to move because surely, that's when he'll slap you, punch you, anything. "I'm sorry, I just wanted to see my family. My sister's birthday is today." You see his jaw tighten as you watched him through the veil of your fingers. He grabs your hair and you scream so loud you're sure you've woken the neighborhood. "Taehyung, please!" You beg, he just look at you coldly and you swear you'd just seen your life flash before your eyes at the look he gives you.

Next thing you know, he's slamming your head against the bulletproof glass of his living room. You don't even have time to scream for help or ask for his forgiveness because the air is knocked out of your lungs at the force. All you can do is cry. He keeps slamming your head against the glass while screaming at you, telling you that you will never leave and you will never escape. The feeling and the sound of your skull cracking open sickens you to your stomach and you feel cold.

CRUNCH!

It takes him a while to realize you're gone. He stands over body demanding that you get up, that is until he catches a glimpse of your blood and brain-matter smeared all over his window. He feels his guts twist at the sight of the sickening mixture running down and staining the floors. Usually, he was never squeamish or sensitive to the sight of blood, he killed many of your friends; it was different this time though. "Shit, baby, I'm sorry. Wake up please, please don't leave me here alone..." there was no response. He kept shaking you shoulders for over 45 minutes, hoping you'll awaken sometime soon. You never do though.

The reality hits him hard. He cries for days and days on end until he can't shed tears anymore. And then after that, he screams until his voice won't come out. He doesn't eat nor sleep nor watch TV nor read. He just stays there holding your body, though the entire house now reeks of your death. He feels himself grow weaker and weaker by the day, but he doesn't care. All his strength and power left the moment he'd killed you. He only had the strength to hold your corpse and that's the only thing he'd have the strength to do for the rest of eternity, that's all the strength he needed. Then, finally, one week later...his body goes cold too.

J E O N J U N G K O O K

Jungkook stood over you, a dangerous look lacing the usual expressionlessness of his eyes. You never intended for him to get upset, never intended for him to even catch you. Yet here you were. You'd tried to be as sneaky as you could possibly manage. But, you weren't sneaky enough, he caught talking on the phone with your best friend. It wasn't the fact that you were talking on the phone though, it the best friend part of the story. She didn't like him, often finding ways to contact you and show up in your life to try and "rescue" you from him. It made him sick. He was lenient when it came to family members, but wasn't that enough for you? Obviously not because you just betrayed his trust.

He snatches your phone straight from your hands and throws it across the room. It hits the wall hard and falls down on the floor. You back away from him before rising from the couch, "Jungkook..." the way his name falls from your lips is panicky. "I thought that you and I had an agreement, sweetheart," He says, his voice is low and it sends a sharp fear down your spine. "I-" he raises his hands, signaling you to be quiet. "I can't believe you. I trusted that you wouldn't dare speak with that slut again." the venom that laces his words makes you feel like you should run. But don't you just stand and watch as he grows angrier and angrier with you.

"We had agreement! Wasn't that enough for you?"

He suddenly lashes out and sends a nearby vase flying towards you, it barely misses you by an inch. It hits the wall not far behind you, shattering against the wall. "It's not fair, you get to talk to whoever you want!" You gestured towards him angrily l, tired of him treating you like his child. "Why is that? It's not like my bestfriend is romantically involved with me or interested in me in that way! She has a boyfriend who actually loves her!" You shout at him. You have no clue where this suddenly powerful sense of courage has come from, but you use it to your advantage. Jungkook seems just as shocked as you are about your sudden outburst. You turn around and walk out of the room angrily, planning to ignore him for the next few days.

As you're making your way down the stairs, Jungkook follows swiftly behind you. Once he catches up with you, he pushes you and you tumble down the stair. This wouldn't be the first time he's done this. But this time, you actually get hurt and hit your head hard on the steps. You finally stop falling when you reach the bottom and Jungkook is met with the look of extreme horror frozen on your face. He knows you're dead almost instantly, but he wants so badly to deny it.

"{___}?"

"I'm sorry, forgive me. I wasn't deserving of someone like you." He sighed, the sorrow starting build up slowly up inside of him, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. He loves you, at least, that's the lie he told himself over and over again. You don't kill people you love, dumbass.

The next few days are hellish for him. It's too quiet and cold without you around. He laid your body inside of the master bedroom of his house, and he's slept in the guest room instead. He feels terrible about what he did. He wants to make up to you somehow, pay the price but nothing came to mind until now. That's how he found himself here, he felt nothing as he stood there, looking at you one last time. He kicked out the chair from his feet.

"Forgive me..."

THUD!

[imightgetbetter]

heart and soul

please be very kind with this one. i've been watching so many interviews where matty talks about mental health and i had a bit of a rough go myself today and i just thought about how this would go, and so, here we are. i hope you're taking care of yourself today.

Gentle fingers dance along your back, kneading into your skin every so often as you sink into his warmth, your fingers tracing over the tattoo inked across his chest. His lips are tucked into your hair, and the air is still, eerily quiet for a night when you’re home and haven’t had much to do. Usually, you would be in the kitchen, a playlist on the speaker and one of you cooking dinner, a bottle of your favorite wine cracked open to share. Nights like those, they were much more than nights like these, but at this moment, you genuinely wished you had the energy to be downstairs.

“Are you hungry?” Matty asks quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. He lifts his head slightly to look at you, nodding to himself when you shake your head. “Have you eaten at all today, darling? You have to eat. I need you to eat.”

“Not hungry,” you murmur, pulling the blanket over your shoulder and tucking yourself further into hiding. His other hand is dragging along your arm, rubbing over your skin gently. “You can go eat if you’re hungry.”

“Not going without you, darling. Think that you know me better than that by now.”

He’s right, you do know him better than that. Matty has always reacted the same on days like this, days where your anxiety is more than anyone should bear, and you can’t physically get yourself out of bed. In your younger years, Matty would come over and spend the day in your room with you, distracting you with stories of band rehearsal and writing and how he couldn’t wait for the day your stories about him could be read by him. He always argued that you heard songs much too soon, but he couldn’t read your writing. He never meant it maliciously, and the excitement you could see behind his eyes always kept you writing. In the years you lived thousands of miles apart, there would be a text every morning, ‘Good? Bad?’ He would nervously wait for your reply, waiting to see if he would be clinging to his phone all day or would give you space to get your work done. And in the last several years, where you two were rarely apart, he’s learned exactly what you crave on days like this, the way to break you out of it.

“Going to take a shower when this episode is done. Okay?”

Knowing that it’s not a question, you nod quietly, swallowing thickly and trying to work up the courage to speak, to say anything. Your voice feels heavy against your throat, like if you utter the tiniest word, you’ll become sick. “Okay.”

“I missed you all day,” Matty hums, turning his phone upside down and ignoring the call coming through. He couldn’t imagine anything that would matter as much as this, right now, as getting you on your feet and moving around. He wouldn’t ever turn away from you in a moment like this, not when you have seen him at his very worst, not when you’ve held his hand through the darkest moments of his life. He is your best friend, your partner, and he would never act as anything less than such. “Got a good writing session in. I did steal that line you wrote, by the way.”

“I want writing credit, Matthew,” you say, squeezing his hip and tilting your face slightly to give him the tiniest of smiles. “Can you tell me which line you stole?”

“Ah, a smile. That beautiful fucking smile of yours. I’m so in love with you. I need to see you smile every single day for the rest of my life. I can feel your smiles in the deepest parts of my heart. It’s like a breath of fresh air.”

“Matty,” you say, hiding your face in his chest and sucking a deep breath. His body smells like it always does, like home, like your person. Around you, the room is quiet, the television going quiet as the episode ends. “The episode is done.”

Matty brushes a stray strand of hair away from your forehead. “Are you ready to get out of bed for a bit?”

“Are you coming with me?”

“I would like to,” he says, cupping your cheek softly. His touch is so sweet, always so gentle. He always knows exactly what you need, exactly how to approach you. He’s always known, from the first moment you became friends all those years ago. He’s so familiar, and safe. “I’d also like to kiss you, if that’s okay.”

And with that, you understand what he means now, when he says that he feels your smile in the deepest parts of his heart, because hearing him say that, hearing him ask such a simple question but a question that you know is rooted in his care and affection for you, makes your heart feel so warm, and you feel it everywhere. His love is in your heart, where your chest feels tight and swollen. His love is in your cheeks, where your skin feels hot. His love is in your hands, where your skin feels electric every time you touch him. His love is in your brain, where you never feel like a weight to carry. His love is everywhere inside of you.

Nodding silently, Matty sits upright and grabs your cheeks, kissing you delicately, as though the slightest touch with cause you to break. Although sometimes it feels that way, that you might break, there has never been a moment where you would feel broken with him. With Matty, you’re you, all of you, no matter what that looks like.

“I can feel your kiss in the deepest parts of my heart and soul,” you repeat to him, leaning your forehead against his, your hands holding his wrists on your face. You don’t want him to let go, to move. There’s warmth between you, between the intimacy of the moment. “I can feel your love everywhere, no matter how I’m feeling.”

“That’s the line,” Matty smiles, rubbing his thumbs along your cheeks, and you realize what you’ve said, the line that he stole. “I can feel your love everywhere, darling. No matter where I am, what I’m feeling, or who I’m with. I can feel your love everywhere.”

[soullessmocha]

heaven.

{ karlach x gn!tav }

rating: everyone

warnings: light spoilers, mild gore, death, angst

word count: 1499 

like with most of my writing i rarely re-read and go over it. i am mediocre writer with heavy bg3 brain rot after finishing my first playthrough of the game.

Your body felt cold yet hot at the same time as you felt life drain out of you. You stare blankly at the ceiling of the foyer in the House of Hope, a demonic spike going through your chest. “You dare to mess with me, steal my from me! Look how piteous thing you are. Let this remind your friends- AH!” Raphael hisses in your ear, his new form causing nothing but the smell of flint and death before he was slain. You barely realize how far your own body was flung until you hit the last soul tower, it crumbles over you as your body splatters on the ground. The horrific roars coming from the devil himself only deafen your ears more. You can’t hear anything. Just the ringing from your head and the screams. You couldn’t tell if it was your scream or your adventurous friends. Maybe even your lovers.

The hot weight of the stone was being ripped off of you. It’s a warm hand that turns your body over. “Oh gods, no, no, no, no…” The warm, honey-like, voice soothes through the ringing. You were saying the same thing as your body began to get so increasingly cold that even turning your joints brought splintering pain. “Hope, please! Help!” Wyll cries out but Hope can only stand over you with a distant look on her face. Karlach ripped off your armor to see where the damage was starting, “You’re not dying here soldier!” Her voice cracks, it makes your blood-stained lips curl slightly. Your bare hand grasps her bicep, “Karlach… No,” you choke out. She doesn’t listen to you.

With your body being moved you let out a blood-piercing scream that even the tadpole in your head couldn’t stand as it vibrated in your cranium in reaction. It was losing its life source. You. Karlach settles you on the sigil glowing in the foyer marble flooring. It was so cold for a place that was burning in one of the levels of Hell. The shiver sent down your spine only made a reaction in your body to spasm, cough up more congealed blood that was threatening its way through your system. Everything was shutting down on you. You couldn’t feel your lower half anymore. 

“We’re going to get you to Shadowheart-” Karlach choked out, her tears being burnt down her cheeks. Something she hasn’t been able to do in gods knows how many centuries. She was supposed to be the first one to go with her infernal engine only being a ticking time bomb. Not you. Not her deepest of love. Not her very own heart. She covers the puncture wound with her own hands, trying to stop the blood from seeping through anymore. She could only wince at your whimper from the pressure. 

“Please, this isn’t how it’s supposed to go!” Karlach begs you, her forehead resting on yours. The warmth comforted you as everything around started to get dark and fuzzy. Yet Karlach was the only thing shining bright for you. In this moment her words of confession roamed in your head. It just wasn’t meant in the stars for the two of you but to go out with a bang was all she needed. 

You weakly feel your hand raise to her cheek, your thumb gently tracing over her features to memorize them one last time, “Out with a bang, right?” You couldn’t even recognize your voice, your hand slid from her cheek to her soft hair, feeling the locks one last time. Death was knocking on your door but you were fighting every second to be with your love. “You're going to go to Avernus,” you hiccup to get air into your lungs, “fix that damned engine of yours and make that bastard pay for what he’s done.” Your body spasms again as the sickly iron-tasting crimson splatters from your throat. “Don’t bring me back… Don’t ask Withers. You save the city. Save yourself. Then come and get me…” Your lower lip trembles as your world starts to crumble around Karlach her glow shining brighter as her sobs become more violent. She was shaking her head at your request. She didn’t even want to think about going through this alone, without her solider by her side. It couldn’t be done. Not without you by her side. 

“Please, don’t go.” Karlach whimpers against your cheek while she peppers warm kisses all over your cold skin, burying her face in the crook of your neck. “I can’t do this without you!” Her voice increases in volume and the flames dancing on her burgundy skin glow blue. All you can do is hold her close while her body curls around yours, rubbing her back with numb arms. “I love you,” you whisper in her ear but before you were able to place one last kiss on her beautiful face you slipped away. Your soul knew deep down that everywhere would be hell without Karlach by your side in whatever afterlife there was as it dissipated away.

Her back felt empty as your strength faded. Her body could nearly melt you away from how cold you were in her arms. “Tav?” she whispers noticing your arms fall by her side, caught on her armor. “Tav, wake up!” She lifted herself from your body, hovering to look you over. The sight horrified her. No longer did your eyes glimmer with life, they were dull. Lifeless. Your skin is pale and clammy from the damned heat of hell. Karlach gently cupped your cheek, her long nails gingerly brushing hair from your expressionless features. Your eyes were staring at the damning mural in the foyer ceiling. Karlach gently closed your eyes. Her warm lips pressed on each eyelid. Strong arms curl under your body to bring you close.

She stood shakingly, weak in every joint as a part of her had fled this realm. Tears flowed down her cheeks yet she was stoic. Unable to rest until your body was at peace. “I love you, **ph myirz.” 

You wake up in a familiar stone enclosure. Withers stood over your body watching you closely to make sure everything went right to his ancient doings. All you could do was blink up at the forgotten god. “Breatheth. Thee wilt beest did confuse and has't many questions. Howev'r, holdeth onto those folk and liveth again f'r tonight.  Th're is a celebration happening and many art waiting to seeth thee.” His dried hands help you sit up and bring your feet over the stone bed. 

Withers only gives you a nod towards the archway where you can hear music playing and chatter dancing in the air. You take in recognition of your own hands first, this is your body still. Nothing changed. Until you notice how quiet your mind is. Slipping off of the stone bed you run a hand through your hair, gripping the roots to set the reality that there is no more tadpole squirming in your brain.

As you walk across the tree bark others turn silent and watch you emerge from the shrubbery.  Eyes all new and foreign greet you with a softness only few could recognize as relief, their mourning was gone. Yet your eyes only searched for one flaming person. Then you see her around the bend of the stone. Karlach stood over the fire, her arms crossed as anxiety rippled over her features. Gold glowing eyes pierced into the bonfire as if she was silently praying to whatever god would listen to bring you back. Yet the sharp gaze stopped when she noticed you, standing afar. She could smell you again. 

The lost expression on your features made her grin fasten wider. Both of your bodies slammed into one another as you ran towards each other. This was your Karlach, not some twisted hell. It was her. The same scent of vanilla and ember came off of her heated skin. Tears blurred your vision, you buried your face in her neck. “You did it.” You whisper against her skin. Karlach only rocks the both of you. It seemed as if the world around the two of you didn’t matter anymore. “I did it,” she repeats after you before gently pulling you back to get a good look over you.

You could feel your very own heat rush to your face as her golden orbs take in your features. You hadn’t known how long it had been since she’d last laid eyes on you but from the looks of it. Too long. “Are you just going to keep staring or kiss me Karlach?” you quipped at her which broke her concentration. Her soft solemn smile turned into a cheeky grin as her hand landed just above your lower back and pulled you close, “You don’t have to ask me twice soldier.” 

With her lips planted on yours and the intoxicating smell of her scent, you knew this was heaven. She was your heaven.

** ph myriz = my heart (infernal)